FUF #10

Do you ever print out my Friday posts and put them in your pocket for later reading? If so, you might say you FUF and fold. Here we are with yet another milestone, folks. The 10th FUF since I started that trend. The Steve Miller Band was right: "Time keeps on slipping (slipping, slipping) into the future." And "I really love your peaches, wanna shake your tree." A true visionary if you ask me.

Are you ready for some random thoughts from myself and my 8-10 readers followed by a longer-than-usual Car Watch? If you answered "Yes" to that question, then you're in the right place. If you answered "No"...sorry, I guess. That's what's happening here.

A funny thing happened on the way out of the bathroom this week. I noticed a few times that I had a particular song in my head: "Ultraviolet" by U2. After the second time, I remembered that this has happened before with this song, and then the light bulb went off. You see, I've recently restarted taking multi-vitamins in the morning. I didn't intentionally stop before, I just forgot for a month or three. In any case (and I apologize for being freshmanic), my urine has been particularly luminescent of late due to the vitamins, and "Ultraviolet" immediately pops in my head each time. The mind is a powerful thing, my friends. Fortunately, I like the song a lot, or else I'd have to stop taking them.

We have some fond farewells to announce here. First, and most obvious, is the departure of Mr. Sanjaya Malakar. We hardly knew ye, Sanjayjay. Next, I have learned that the TV Guide channel chose not to renew the contracts of Joan and Melissa Rivers. If you recall from an earlier post, I hate Joan Rivers with almost every ounce of my being. I'd rather hear ten Sit N' Sleep commercials back to back than watch a three-minute segment of her "interviewing" someone. Goodbye, Joan, and I hope that this leads to your overdue retirement.


Car Watch time, Car Watch time, everybody loves Car Watch time! (There's a tune to that, but I'm not good with musical notation.)

First, folks, I saw a license plate with PFK as the letters. This most likely means nothing to you, but it made me smile and think of a trip my wife and I took a few years ago. We were in the province of Quebec, and on the side of the road I noticed a Kentucky Fried Chicken. At least that's what it looked like - same colors, fonts, etc. Instead of "KFC" though, it said "PFK." I first joked that it stood for "Peter Fucking Klein!" Then we thought about though, realized we were in a French-speaking locale, and decided it must stand for "Poulet Frit Kentucky." Same company, but they translated their own name to help the locals understand. I thought that was interesting enough to share. Was I right? Actually, don't answer that.

On the surface, a license plate that reads "GYNO TOY" is simply bizarre. But when you factor in that the model of the car was a Probe, it takes on a whole new meaning. I guess I should thank my mother-in-law for telling me about this, but I keep just thinking, "Ewwwwwwww" instead.

She also saw a license plate frame that read, "My Other Auto is a 9mm." You can't teach "classy" folks, it just happens naturally.

My bro was driving and saw a bumper sticker that read, "What are you looking at?" I kinda like that. To me, it's the "Whatever you do, don't think of Abraham Lincoln" of bumper stickers.

My lovely wife saw "I'd Rather Be Sleeping" on a plate and so wholeheartedly concurred that she had to tell me about it. I like a good sleep as much as the next person, but this driver apparently would always prefer sleeping to anything else. That's a little sad, don't you think? There are a few benefits to being awake in my book.

A couple of mornings ago, on a really beat up car, I saw "This is NOT an Abandoned Vehicle!" I wonder how many times one has to be towed before buying that sticker. Two? Five? I don't know.

As always, a FUF would not be complete without Car Watch items from my homey Rockabye. This week, he was almost overwhelmed by the bizarre things he saw. First, a bumper sticker that read, "My Honors Student Never Pays Too Much for Gas at Arco!" I don't get this. Are they saying "By getting gas at Arco, my kid always gets a good deal" or "My kid never gets gas at Arco because they overcharge?" I keep re-reading it hoping one of them will become the leader in the clubhouse, but it's not happening. I think it's the former, but I'm not sold.

Rockabye also saw "MMLJ: Make Me Like Jesus." Who is the owner talking to? That is, who has the power to make someone like Jesus? Furthermore, which "like" is it? Make me similar to Jesus or I don't really like him but I want to. Please, please, make me like Jesus? I don't know, but I don't really see that one catching on.

Lastly for this edition of Car Watch, Rockabye saw "Where the Hell is Martinez Lake?" I guess that's a form of an ad campaign in that they want people to look it up or something. I personally don't know where Martinez Lake is, and it didn't cause me to find out either. It's either that or the person was so lost that he had time to make a sticker in hopes of someone rolling down their window with directions. Ya got me, man.

Two final thoughts for you all. In two weeks, I'm going to my aunt and uncle's house. Why is that interesting? They live in the house I grew up in, and more specifically, the house that has a wall in which Greenie, Grassy, Bob, and Chris lived. I'm going to look for them, and I'll report back with my findings.

And lastly, my sister-in-law Weezie's 30th birthday is this Sunday, so Happy Early Birthday! We're all going out to Lawry's for dinner, so my Monday blog might smell a little like prime rib. Sorry, I just re-read that sentence and realized how disgusting it sounded. Too late now.

Have a great weekend, everyone, and keep the emails and comments a'coming.