Good morning, my friends. In honor of the final Harry Potter book coming out last weekend, today I wish for the Sorting Hat to place all of us in FUFflepuff. I realize that means absolutely nothing to many of you out there, but that's never stopped me before. 'Tis Friday, and 'tis a glorious feeling to say that. Not only do we get the standard two days off from work, but my lovely wife and I are spending those days in our old stomping ground of Santa Barbara. I can't wait; it's always nice to be up there. Yes, always. In typical Follow Up Friday fashion, I shall ramble about random things for a while before launching into Car Watch. Like the Hokey Pokey, that's indeed what it's all about.
"Stomping ground" is an interesting phrase, no? I just let it roll right off my fingers without considering it at all first. In actuality, I rarely if ever stomped there. I occasionally stomp now, but that's usually reserved for playing around with my nephew or my pup. Neither was ever with me while I was living in SB, so it could be wholly inaccurate.
I was thinking (uh oh) about other words this morning as I sat in traffic, because that's what I tend to do. Somehow the phrase "pomp and circumstance" entered my brain, and I started thinking about the words individually. If someone only used "pomp" in a sentence that would normally have the whole phrase, I'd still know what he or she was talking about. Just using "circumstance" wouldn't get the point across though. "Circumstance" is a strange word, and now it looks and sounds completely made up to me. I hate it when that happens.
Time for more word stuff, for that is how I roll. You know what's a very interesting word to me? "Weather." Not the noun about atmosphere and shit like that, but its other uses. Something (or someone) looking weathered is a bad thing, like it's been unprepared to handle the elements to which it's exposed. But "to weather" something is good. We weather storms and crises, and emerge from something that was difficult or dangerous. I find those usages both contracditory and fascinating, while you might find them neither. That's fine by me; I would never assume that others think like me.
Getting away from words for a moment (although not really since I'm still using them), my favorite brother called me a week or two ago with a question I wasn't expecting. "How many french fries do you think there are in a large order from Carl's Jr.?" he asked. Being from the same gene pool as me, he'd decided to count for some unknown reason. I first told him that I didn't know because I boycott Carl's Jr. for reasons stated in earlier posts. Then I pictured a large order of fries (I pictured a McDonald's one) and counted as an imaginary hand took imaginary fries out one by one. After about ten, a sizeable chunk was gone from the fry holder in my mind's eye. My first thought was 36, but I kept picturing about a third gone, so I went with 30 instead. "88!" he said. That shocked me, because 88 of them couldn't fit in my imaginary one. He admitted that a couple might have broken in half and been counted twice, but that number was very close to accurate. 88 fries is a whole lotta fries. What would you have guessed, gentle readers?
And lastly before the Car Watch, I have two baby announcements. First, my cousin Kelly and her husband Jeff had a little boy named Rio this week. I've seen one adorable picture so far, and I can't wait to meet him in person. I have no idea what type of cousin he is to me, but I hope "twice removed" is in there because it's the name of my favorite Sloan album. Second, my good friend Suzanne and her husband Andrew had a pretty little baby girl named Keira this week. I hope to meet her soon as well, and not just so I can point out that the words Klein and Keira have some noticeable similarities.
Are you ready for some Car Watch action? I can't hear you! No, seriously, sound doesn't travel through the internets, so I'm unable to hear you. I'll assume that you all said yes.
My friend Dave saw "CALME DR" on a license plate. I saw that and immediately thought, "Call me doctor." Dave saw three possibilities: "Call me doctor," "Calm doctor," or "California medical examiner doctor." Yes, I think that's reaching a little too. Dave does that.
Sacky Kevin wrote in saying that he saw a license plate frame on a new Dodge Viper that read, "I am burning the gas you are saving." I understand that this guy's probably trying to come across as an asshole, and he's being successful. Technically, I think the gas I'm saving is still in my tank, but let's not read too deeply into what was probably a very shallow thought.
Loyal reader Rockabye saw a plate saying, "HIHWRU." Cute, but I don't think he or she really cares. Does the person really want me to pull next to him or her, roll down my window, and yell, "Fine! A little tired but hanging in there! Thanks for asking!" I really don't think so. Insincere questions posed by license plates really grind my gears.
Rockabye, who spends more time in his car than anyone else I know, saw a bunch of other things as well. There was a plate that said "IM TRBL," which would cause me to make my "Ooh I'm scared" face. Except Rockabye pointed out that it could be "I'm terrible" also, which would instead cause me to make my "Aw, keep your chin up" face. There's an understanding nod involved in that face.
He also saw "IBUUBME" on a plate. If I accept the first part of that plate as truth, then I guess I'm bound to accept the second due to the reflexive property, right? ('Property' is all on the top line of the keyboard, by the way.) The thing is, I don't buy the first part. That person isn't me, and it's pretty damn egotistical to be telling everyone on the road that you're one in the same. Even Chaka Khan only thinks she's every woman.
Lastly, Rockabye spied "DNT LOOK" on a plate. Fine, don't look at my finger as I pass you then.
That's it, gentle readers. Have a great weekend and know that I'll be having a fun and relaxing time in SB, thinking of strange things to bombard you with. I can't help it; it's my nature. That said, I still desperately need your help to keep UOPTA going. Please write to ptklein@gmail.com with any thoughts, questions, stories, jokes, etc. and we'll keep this shindig a rockin'.
10 comments:
So this may be a first for me, but thanks to your blog, I actually thought about a word! I was writing your wife, and I used the term moot point. It got me thinking that moot point can mean both an undecided point, open to discussion, or nearly the opposite, a point not worth discussing at all. Stupid words. I'll take numbers any day of the week, and squared on Sunday.
Look at that: I made Dave think! What a day, what a day. It's a good point, Dave. I personally only use "moot" to mean your second definition, which Merriam-Webster defines as "deprived of practical significance." It does also mean "open to question" they say, so you're spot on. I haven't been this proud of you since you memorized more digits of pi than I did. Bravo, David, bra to the vo.
Don't be too proud, I just found out yesterday that the saying is, "all intents and purposes," and not "all intensive purposes." I like mine better.
Today Dave found out that the word aerate is not two words. For the last 20-some-odd years, he thought that when an air raid siren went off, it was because somebody was adding air to something.
Republicans are raised with violent ideals. Apparently this sometimes turns them gay.
Oh, yes, and today Dave also claimed that Jon's spelling was worse than his, citing an e-mail in which Jon ostensibly spelled Thursday wrong. "WTF?!" Dave queried, "doesn't he even have spell check?!" I wanted to double check, and Dave was offended that I didn't trust him.
He was right, Thursday was spelled incorrectly.
However, Dave was reading his own e-mail, not Jon's.
Well today Dusty thought a client's FireFox was broken, when really it just needed to be restarted. What a loser.
Rockabye spends more time in a car than I do? I have 130,000 miles on my '03 Jetta and 40,000 on my '04 Scion. I live and work in two different counties. My work is mobile computer repair. According to Jiffy Lube's prescribed 3,000 mile formula, I should be getting oil changes every 3 weeks.
So does Rockabye sleep in his car, because that counts as spending more time in a car. Or does he drive more than me? If so, I feel sorry for him, for sure.
Driving to Washington next month (again),
Dusty
You're in the car a lot, Dusty, but I don't get 10 bumper sticker reports a day from you. Rockabye drives around a lot for work every day, and he also drives to and from San Diego almost every weekend. I don't know how many miles he puts on his car, but I wouldn't be surprised if you go more miles in less time. The traffic here has gotten noticeably worse since you last lived here. Loads of fun, I assure you.
Dusty,
Where are you going to be in Washington? I'd love to see you, get a cup of joe, and catch up. And if you need any software, I'll throw some of that your way too.
We'll be at the Gorge for DMB 8/29-9/2, though we won't be very mobile, sleeping in the cow pastures there, and they seem to be strict about no re-entry (unlike Pete's mom).
Aside from that we have no set schedule. You see, we are traveling there in a '72 VW bus, trailing a motorcycle, so no idea if we'll even make it in time for the show. Where are you? Would definitely be cool to have a local show us around, if we are there with enough time.
-Dusty
e@tslugmo.com
P.S. Actually, restarting Firefox didn't fix it, it was a Winsock2 dll error. What a schmucktard.
It seems that the universe doesn't want us reconnecting. While you're up here, I'll be down in San Diego for a wedding. FYI, I'm about 140 miles west of the Gorge on I-90.
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