Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Accent prone


Hello and good morning to you on this non-Monday. I went to re-read yesterday's post to see if I could draw any inspiration from it for today's offering. Luckily, it only took one sentence. 'Twas my fake Irish accent at the beginning of the post for no reason at all that did it. I re-read that line, and it got me thinking (uh oh) of some great moments that accents have played in my life. Ok, maybe not 'great,' but certainly memorable and fun at the time.

My buddy Jon got his degree in Acting at UCSB, and our whole group of friends went to a bunch of his performances throughout our four years there. It was during our sophomore year that he was preparing a scene in an Irish dialect for an audition. The play was "The Playboy of the Western World" by J.M. Synge, and Jon walked around our apartment for days repeating the first line over and over again: "And isn't it a poor thing to be startin' again?" He struggled getting the accent down at first, but it wasn't for a lack of trying. Greg then helped Jon out somewhat inadvertently. Since the Irish brogue was flying around the apartment, it led Greg to quoting "Far and Away" with Tom Cruise. He kept saying, "You can be sure, I won't be dyin' twice." As it turned out, Jon could say that line well, so he began to use it almost like a primer to help the accent stick. He'd quote Greg/Tom Cruise then launch into the "Playboy" lines, and the accent was much more believable. Ah, actors and their craft.

That wasn't it for Jon and the Irish dialect though. Later that year, Jon had a tape designed to help him master the accent. It would say things, and he'd repeat them. There were two problems with this. First, he listened to it with headphones, so he'd be sitting there with us and then suddenly blurt something out in the accent. Second, whoever created the tape seemed like a very angry person. Here are the only two lines I remember hearing Jon say from the tape:

1. "It was a rough, tough fight."
2. "I had to stick a knife in his arm."

Of course they sounded more like, "It was a roof, toof foit," and "I 'ada sticka noif in 'is ahm." He listened to it almost non-stop for a while, so I imagine it was weird for people that he passed as he skateboarded to class. "Why's that guy with the weird accent threatening me?" they'd probably think.

The next year, I lived with a different Acting major. It was our friend Burnstein, and it was his turn to work on the Irish dialect. To put it simply: he was horrendous. The rest of us were decent at it, but had little cause to use it in our English, Communication, and Electrical Engineering courses. Burnstein sounded so un-Irish that listening to him became one of our favorite pastimes. We tried to get him to say, "They keep stealin' me Lucky Charms." I didn't think it was possible, but he managed to make that line sound Jamaican. It got to the point where I'd make fun of him by saying, "Eh Mon! They keep a-stealin' me Rasta Charms, mon!" He didn't find that as funny as the rest of us.

Right now, I do a decent Welsh accent, as long as I'm imitating Desmond from "Lost." I can say, "No matter what you do, brother, you're gonna die, Charlie," and that's about it. It's awfully similar to my Irish and Scottish, but I think that's a forgivable offense. If I'm around a Brit for a few minutes, I can get that one going alright. My Australian accent is only decent when quoting a commercial for Australian Toaster Biscuits from 20 years ago. "They tie-st grite!" I suppose I can say, "He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich" also, but it doesn't sound very Aussie. I can't do East Coast accents well, even though I've grown up hearing my Grandma Z's thick Boston one. I know to drop Rs where they exist and add them where they don't, but that's about it. And Southern? Not even close.

Jon got his MFA in Acting in Alabama, and Lisa, Dusty, and I visited him there. After a day or so, I'd heard enough of the Southern drawl to successfully replicate it in my head. So, I tried it out loud once. Judging by the looks on my friends' faces, I didn't even come close to pulling it off. It couldn't have been as bad as Burnstein's Irish one, but you can be sure, I won't be trying twice.

Have a great day, gentle readers. While there are certainly more perilous things than bad accents out there, I suggest you avoid them at all costs today. Remember to write to ptklein@gmail.com with anything about anything.

4 comments:

Christi said...

Kev and I decided to be British for a weekend while in San Diego. It was so much fun. I can do that one fairly well - my aunt is British. We did okay until running into a real British couple and we could not tell them exactly where we were from. Still a fun thing to try.

Proud Brother said...

I had always been a fan of Brad Pitt's line in "Devil's Own" - "I need that money, Tom". I know it is one of your favorites too.

Anonymous said...

The best part I ever landed that was set in England was the role of the mute in Arcadia. That was smooth sailing!

Jon

PK said...

Yeah, the mute that randomly starting talking in the second or third act. You've been in some pretty weird shit, man.