I was driving home from work last week, when out of nowhere, I was attacked by the immature teenage boy who still lives inside of me. He hibernates most of the time, but when he's awakened, it's hard to put him back. I was just driving along, minding my own business, and then I saw it. There was a license plate in front of me that looked like it said "balls" on it. It didn't actually say that, but rather BAL as the three letters and then a 5 to start the last number sequence. Regardless, it made me giggle.
It also got me thinking. For non-vanity plates, which three-letter combinations do they refrain from making? (Editor's note: I'm about to childishly list things that look like bad words, so if you're offended by anything of the sort, then I suggest you occupy yourself in another manner this morning and meet me back here tomorrow. Also, I blame my immaturity on my wife's being out of town and therefore not here to say, "Yeah, that's pretty silly, maybe you should leave that topic out.")
Ever see a license plate with FUK in the middle of it? I never have, so I'm guessing they don't make them. Whose job is it to decide which ones aren't made? That seems like an awesome job to me. He or she had to probably write a report or say to a boss, "Yes, I realize that we have taken F-U-K and F-U-C out of circulation, but my findings show that it's time to remove F-U-Q as well." How much fun would that be?
SHT is probably out, right? It could easily be pronounced as "shot" or "shut" though. It seems to me that they're catering to those of us who immediately jump to the naughty possibilities. (That's not a complaint, but it seems rare to me that an institution would aim for the lowest common denominator.) I'm sure HIT is allowed, but what happens when it gets to 5HIT - are we really gonna have 999 of those out there on the roads? Seems a bit irresponsible to me. And by "irresponsible," I mean "totally rad."
ASS, although it's an animal, is most likely outlawed. "Make, model, and plate, ma'am?" "Sure it's a 95 Ford Taurus, plate is 4ASS028." How many people could say that with a straight face? Not I, my friends, not I.
There's not really a way to make "bitch" offensive with only three letters, right? BCH is a big enough stretch that I'm guessing they allow those. (As a side note, I think "The Bitch Offensive" would make a great name for either a military strike or a punk band.) So what's left? Many consider "damn" a swear word, but "dam" is a nice and normal word. Do they make DAM plates? If not, do you agree with me that they're overreacting a bit?
Warning: I'm getting more vulgar now. Where do they draw the line? I haven't seen DIK on a plate before (I so hope you're reading this aloud right now). So DIC would probably be banned too, right? What about COK, COC, and COQ? If they ban those, then I think they're reaching a little. Yes, someone like me would look at each of those and say, "That says 'cock,' heh heh," but they really shouldn't be catering to me. I'd say that even if someone were talking about a rooster, an action with a gun, or even caulk.
What about the BUT plates? TIT? Where does the madness end? You know what, I'm tired of this hypothetical crap. Time to do a little research (and I hate it when I make myself do that).
I've found the mother lode:
http://www.calpl8s.com/cpinfo.html
Wow, I had no idea. This site shows letter combinations that are banned in California, confirmed in 2002. Not just FUK and FUC, but also FCK, FUX, FUG, FOK, and FKU, amongst others. They're not messing around here. As guessed here, SHT, ASS, COC, and COK appear on the list. So do DAM, BUT, and TIT. There are other predictable ones like SEX, KKK, and a host of derogatory terms on there as well.
Then there are some that I never would've imagined. BRA? Really, is that so bad? SUK? DUM? CIA, FBI, and CHP! Is that because it's oh-so-close to impersonating an officer? That's bullshit. Why is NUN not allowed? What's wrong with SAM? If I were named Sam, I'd be offended by my exclusion. USB? Do they have a problem with the financial company or the data port on computers? HIV is on the list, because apparently someone failed his Sex Ed class and thought it could be transmitted by sight. There are many, many more, but I'll leave you with my favorite exclusion because it makes so little sense: YEP. Yep! Ah, I did it again. I start thinking, I do research, and I end up angry. My wife needs to come home immediately. Have a good Tuesday, gentle readers.
It also got me thinking. For non-vanity plates, which three-letter combinations do they refrain from making? (Editor's note: I'm about to childishly list things that look like bad words, so if you're offended by anything of the sort, then I suggest you occupy yourself in another manner this morning and meet me back here tomorrow. Also, I blame my immaturity on my wife's being out of town and therefore not here to say, "Yeah, that's pretty silly, maybe you should leave that topic out.")
Ever see a license plate with FUK in the middle of it? I never have, so I'm guessing they don't make them. Whose job is it to decide which ones aren't made? That seems like an awesome job to me. He or she had to probably write a report or say to a boss, "Yes, I realize that we have taken F-U-K and F-U-C out of circulation, but my findings show that it's time to remove F-U-Q as well." How much fun would that be?
SHT is probably out, right? It could easily be pronounced as "shot" or "shut" though. It seems to me that they're catering to those of us who immediately jump to the naughty possibilities. (That's not a complaint, but it seems rare to me that an institution would aim for the lowest common denominator.) I'm sure HIT is allowed, but what happens when it gets to 5HIT - are we really gonna have 999 of those out there on the roads? Seems a bit irresponsible to me. And by "irresponsible," I mean "totally rad."
ASS, although it's an animal, is most likely outlawed. "Make, model, and plate, ma'am?" "Sure it's a 95 Ford Taurus, plate is 4ASS028." How many people could say that with a straight face? Not I, my friends, not I.
There's not really a way to make "bitch" offensive with only three letters, right? BCH is a big enough stretch that I'm guessing they allow those. (As a side note, I think "The Bitch Offensive" would make a great name for either a military strike or a punk band.) So what's left? Many consider "damn" a swear word, but "dam" is a nice and normal word. Do they make DAM plates? If not, do you agree with me that they're overreacting a bit?
Warning: I'm getting more vulgar now. Where do they draw the line? I haven't seen DIK on a plate before (I so hope you're reading this aloud right now). So DIC would probably be banned too, right? What about COK, COC, and COQ? If they ban those, then I think they're reaching a little. Yes, someone like me would look at each of those and say, "That says 'cock,' heh heh," but they really shouldn't be catering to me. I'd say that even if someone were talking about a rooster, an action with a gun, or even caulk.
What about the BUT plates? TIT? Where does the madness end? You know what, I'm tired of this hypothetical crap. Time to do a little research (and I hate it when I make myself do that).
I've found the mother lode:
http://www.calpl8s.com/cpinfo.html
Wow, I had no idea. This site shows letter combinations that are banned in California, confirmed in 2002. Not just FUK and FUC, but also FCK, FUX, FUG, FOK, and FKU, amongst others. They're not messing around here. As guessed here, SHT, ASS, COC, and COK appear on the list. So do DAM, BUT, and TIT. There are other predictable ones like SEX, KKK, and a host of derogatory terms on there as well.
Then there are some that I never would've imagined. BRA? Really, is that so bad? SUK? DUM? CIA, FBI, and CHP! Is that because it's oh-so-close to impersonating an officer? That's bullshit. Why is NUN not allowed? What's wrong with SAM? If I were named Sam, I'd be offended by my exclusion. USB? Do they have a problem with the financial company or the data port on computers? HIV is on the list, because apparently someone failed his Sex Ed class and thought it could be transmitted by sight. There are many, many more, but I'll leave you with my favorite exclusion because it makes so little sense: YEP. Yep! Ah, I did it again. I start thinking, I do research, and I end up angry. My wife needs to come home immediately. Have a good Tuesday, gentle readers.
5 comments:
You mentioning that Amber is a sounding board for what should and should not be broadcast on your weblog reminded me of one of the best quotes I have heard to date: "I heard you, and it's not funny." After you told us that, I think we all stored it away in preparation for the day the we would it say it to our husbands/domestic partners.
I think the best combo of plates that made it through the screening belonged to a couple who's house I passed each day walking to school. Hers: I B 6 and his: I B 9.
Wow, Christi - that's pretty risque for...where'd you grow up? I thought it was Texas, but you're a Detroit Red Wings fan, right? I'm confused. Regardless, it's risque for wherever you were. And congrats on piecing that together as a kid. You must have been in honors classes.
That one was right in the heart of Chatsworth, walking to Chatsworth High each day...
Probably the best plate I ever saw was in the Ken Crane parking lot one day. It was DIG BIC......How did that get by the censors?
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