It's Tuesday, or as our British friends call it, Tuesday. I wrote about some problems that people have with words yesterday, and I'd like to continue to with trend. I already wrote a bit about typos and words not looking right after staring at them for too long, so I'm branching out into two new categories today: Forgotten Word Syndrome and The Almost Typo.
Nearly 3 out of every 4 Americans suffer from occasional Forgotten Word Syndrome. FWS is most often found in men and women over 40, who call it by its street name, the "Senior Moment." People planning on playing board games should avoid FWS at all cost. Should a word remain forgotten for over four hours, consult your dictionary immediately.
Before I give you an account of my personal struggle with FWS, I want to differentiate it from the classic mental block. For example, my mom can't remember a certain singer's name. She knows he was in the band Genesis and that he had an album called "No Jacket Required," but she has the hardest time remembering his name. (When you finally get it, Mom, post it in the comments section. Until then, we'll all be pointing and laughing at you.) This is different from FWS, because FWS strikes quickly and without any warning at all. Allow me to explain.
My junior year of high school, I was on the phone with my old friend Missy. I had just stated something very obvious, and she sarcastically responded, "Oh gee, you picked up on that, eh?" Playing along, I said, "Yeah, I'm really ob..." I stopped. "Hold on," I continued, "I can't think of the word. Observ...sive? Observatory?" She found this lapse hilarious, until she suddenly couldn't remember the word either. "Oh shit," she said, mainly because she couldn't make fun of me if she was in the same boat. We sat there on the phone for another ten minutes, desperately trying to think of every suffix imaginable. Well, she did at least. I kept saying "observsive" and "observatory" over and over. Eventually (she swore she didn't cheat), she yelled out, "Observant!" I don't know how it happened, but that word temporarily left my vocabulary. I'm now a FWS surviver, and while I take strength in that, I don't want anyone else to have to experience that feeling of helplessness.
The Almost Typo is a different ailment with almost more serious consequences. The Almost Typo happens when there's a slip of a finger in an important email or letter, but the error isn't caught by spellchecker because it's also a word in English. Therefore, it's only caught by proofreading, which may or may not happen depending on time constraints. I've had two experiences with The Almost Typo in my life, and each would have caused some problems. The first occurred when I was writing to a very high ranking university administrator to ask a favor of her. I wrote it carefully, did the spellcheck thing, and was about to hit "send" when something in the first line caught my eye at the very last second. I had typed, "I've noticed how busty you are this time of year." Needless to say, I took out the offending extra letter and then super-carefully re-read every single word to make sure it was the only error of its kind. That would've been bad, but since I caught it, it remains in The Almost Typo category.
The other experience with The Almost Typo wouldn't have affected me as much as the good friend I was trying to help with something. My friend Sara had just completed her required hours to be a licensed massage therapist. The people who certify such things needed some reference letters before the process was officially over. She asked me if I could write her a letter. I had never received a massage from her, so I said that maybe I wasn't the right person. "No, it's not about that, they just want to know that I'm a moral person who wouldn't do inappropriate sexual things as a masseuse." That made sense, and since I'd known her for a few years and supervised her in a position, I felt comfortable writing that. I opened with how I knew Sara and for how long. Then I wrote, "Through the years, I've known Sara to be a fine and oral citizen." Yikes. I had already printed it out, signed it, and was in the process of folding it to mail away when I gave it one last glance. The word "oral" caught my eye, and fortunately, I re-read that sentence instead of just continuing on. At the very least, I may have received an awkward follow-up phone call on that.
Hey, you know what that brings us too, boys and girls? Guess the Fakey time! I'm pretty sure that the majority of you won't know the actor Jon Gries by name. However, he's been in some pretty big things. Recently, he was Uncle Rico in "Napoleon Dynamite." He was also in "Get Shorty," if you're familiar with that movie. More might know him as Rusty, the homeless man who stole the rickshaw in a "Seinfeld" episode. To me though, he was always be Lazlo Hollyfeld who lived in the closet in "Real Genius." To me, that's probably the most underrated movie of the entire 80s, and I should devote much more time to it in a future post. In any case, below are 11 movies. Jon Gries appears in 10 of them, and I made up one of them. Your mission is to Guess the Fakey and post a comment with your guess. I will reveal the answer in this week's Follow Up Friday. Here goes:
Hippy-Go-Lucky
Four Eyes and Six-Guns
Bicentennial Curious
Number One with a Bullet
Pucker Up and Bark Like a Dog
More American Graffiti
Kill Me Again
Ed and His Dead Mother
The Sasquatch Dumpling Gang
Joysticks
Sledge: The Untold Story
Have a great day, everyone. Remember to write to ptklein@gmail.com with anything you think I might find interesting. Questions, comments, bumper stickers, moronic actions of our fellow man - anything at all. They can each become posts or segments for FUFs. I'm not quite observatory enough on my own, so I appreciate the help. Observsive?
Nearly 3 out of every 4 Americans suffer from occasional Forgotten Word Syndrome. FWS is most often found in men and women over 40, who call it by its street name, the "Senior Moment." People planning on playing board games should avoid FWS at all cost. Should a word remain forgotten for over four hours, consult your dictionary immediately.
Before I give you an account of my personal struggle with FWS, I want to differentiate it from the classic mental block. For example, my mom can't remember a certain singer's name. She knows he was in the band Genesis and that he had an album called "No Jacket Required," but she has the hardest time remembering his name. (When you finally get it, Mom, post it in the comments section. Until then, we'll all be pointing and laughing at you.) This is different from FWS, because FWS strikes quickly and without any warning at all. Allow me to explain.
My junior year of high school, I was on the phone with my old friend Missy. I had just stated something very obvious, and she sarcastically responded, "Oh gee, you picked up on that, eh?" Playing along, I said, "Yeah, I'm really ob..." I stopped. "Hold on," I continued, "I can't think of the word. Observ...sive? Observatory?" She found this lapse hilarious, until she suddenly couldn't remember the word either. "Oh shit," she said, mainly because she couldn't make fun of me if she was in the same boat. We sat there on the phone for another ten minutes, desperately trying to think of every suffix imaginable. Well, she did at least. I kept saying "observsive" and "observatory" over and over. Eventually (she swore she didn't cheat), she yelled out, "Observant!" I don't know how it happened, but that word temporarily left my vocabulary. I'm now a FWS surviver, and while I take strength in that, I don't want anyone else to have to experience that feeling of helplessness.
The Almost Typo is a different ailment with almost more serious consequences. The Almost Typo happens when there's a slip of a finger in an important email or letter, but the error isn't caught by spellchecker because it's also a word in English. Therefore, it's only caught by proofreading, which may or may not happen depending on time constraints. I've had two experiences with The Almost Typo in my life, and each would have caused some problems. The first occurred when I was writing to a very high ranking university administrator to ask a favor of her. I wrote it carefully, did the spellcheck thing, and was about to hit "send" when something in the first line caught my eye at the very last second. I had typed, "I've noticed how busty you are this time of year." Needless to say, I took out the offending extra letter and then super-carefully re-read every single word to make sure it was the only error of its kind. That would've been bad, but since I caught it, it remains in The Almost Typo category.
The other experience with The Almost Typo wouldn't have affected me as much as the good friend I was trying to help with something. My friend Sara had just completed her required hours to be a licensed massage therapist. The people who certify such things needed some reference letters before the process was officially over. She asked me if I could write her a letter. I had never received a massage from her, so I said that maybe I wasn't the right person. "No, it's not about that, they just want to know that I'm a moral person who wouldn't do inappropriate sexual things as a masseuse." That made sense, and since I'd known her for a few years and supervised her in a position, I felt comfortable writing that. I opened with how I knew Sara and for how long. Then I wrote, "Through the years, I've known Sara to be a fine and oral citizen." Yikes. I had already printed it out, signed it, and was in the process of folding it to mail away when I gave it one last glance. The word "oral" caught my eye, and fortunately, I re-read that sentence instead of just continuing on. At the very least, I may have received an awkward follow-up phone call on that.
Hey, you know what that brings us too, boys and girls? Guess the Fakey time! I'm pretty sure that the majority of you won't know the actor Jon Gries by name. However, he's been in some pretty big things. Recently, he was Uncle Rico in "Napoleon Dynamite." He was also in "Get Shorty," if you're familiar with that movie. More might know him as Rusty, the homeless man who stole the rickshaw in a "Seinfeld" episode. To me though, he was always be Lazlo Hollyfeld who lived in the closet in "Real Genius." To me, that's probably the most underrated movie of the entire 80s, and I should devote much more time to it in a future post. In any case, below are 11 movies. Jon Gries appears in 10 of them, and I made up one of them. Your mission is to Guess the Fakey and post a comment with your guess. I will reveal the answer in this week's Follow Up Friday. Here goes:
Hippy-Go-Lucky
Four Eyes and Six-Guns
Bicentennial Curious
Number One with a Bullet
Pucker Up and Bark Like a Dog
More American Graffiti
Kill Me Again
Ed and His Dead Mother
The Sasquatch Dumpling Gang
Joysticks
Sledge: The Untold Story
Have a great day, everyone. Remember to write to ptklein@gmail.com with anything you think I might find interesting. Questions, comments, bumper stickers, moronic actions of our fellow man - anything at all. They can each become posts or segments for FUFs. I'm not quite observatory enough on my own, so I appreciate the help. Observsive?
7 comments:
My Almost Typo story: I was in 12th grade when I had to write a paper on a novel I had read. Given that the title of the novel contained a name that isn't a word, spell check continually wanted to change it to a real word. I accidently allowed it to do that once, but upon realizing my mistake, changed it because Gustave Flaubert did not write a book called "Madame Ovary." This whole episode did, however, lead to me writing a brief humor piece entitled "My damn ovary," which I turned in with my paper and my teacher found amusing.
When your father was in Navy boot camp, I used to send him funny things from the local freebie newspaper. One of my favorites was when Los Angeles Ram Lance Rencel was arrested for lewd acts. He was quoted as saying how much he appreciated his wife, actress Joey Heatherton's loyalty. "Any other wife would have felt him." Maybe that was the problem in their marriage to begin with. (Eventually she felt him)
My guess...Four Eyes and Six Guns
I had a horrible case of FWS at Easter Brunch this weekend (FYJI: Easter's the one with the cross and the bunnies). My friend wanted to know what the next "Bourne" movie was going to be and I replied, "It'll be the Bourne...crap. It's that 'you do this or I'll do this' word." Apparently my FWS was contagious because another friend at the table went, "Right! It's that word that sounds like old tomato." I think "The Bourne Old Tomato" would be a box office smash, don't you?
Dude, check out www.engrish.com
My choice is Bicentennial curious.
As far as Forgotten Word Syndrome goes. I....I....I.....oh never mind.
Hey Pete, your mom called me once and wanted to know the name of the spa place we went to that started with a G. I quickly responded with Glen Ivy. Why could I remember and she could not is a mystery. But Steve & I have always said your mom would be our phone-a-friend if we went on the Millionaire show. She is by far the best trivia person we know.
p.s my guess for the fakey is Sledge: The Untold Story.
By the way, I have conquered my mental block of that singer's name. It's Bill Colliers. No wait... Will Holland. No wait...Gil Rawlins. See, I knew I could do it!
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