Thursday, April 26, 2007

A pizza history


Hey, look at that: here we are again. To try to continue with this week's unofficial and unplanned theme, let's keep riding the language and word-creation train, shall we? As I look through my recent posts, it becomes pretty clear to me that I like the idea of creating a word that sticks in the web of public consciousness. I don't think most people actively try to make up slang words or coin new phrases, so maybe that's one of "my things," like putting ketchup on a tuna sandwich. Don't knock it til you try it, by the way. The ketchup and mayo are great together. On the nose, you'll find a bouquet of tomato, egg whites, fish, loganberry, and a hint of leather.

As a quick side note, I almost wrote something about me being the conductor of the "language and word-creation train," which made me start thinking about the word "conductor." Since "conducir" means to drive in Spanish, I'm assuming that they come from the same Latin root or something. I'm not looking it up because I don't feel like getting angry, and that's generally what happens. Does the musical position of "conductor" also come from that? I can make the argument that he or she drives and steers the composition, but I can make lots of arguments that aren't accurate. Maybe I'm looking at this backwards and it all stems from "conduct." Therefore, one who makes things move or happen is therefore a "conduct-or." The word most likely pre-dates driving, so that's probably the more accurate story of how those words came to be.

Aren't you glad I took you along with me on that journey to the center of my mind? While you might argue that that wasn't "a quick side note," I'll counter by assuring you that it could've been three or four times as long. You can't spell "tangent-like" without "Klein." (Yeah, I know that was a stretch.)

Back to the origin of train words. Just kidding, I think we've done enough there for today. I remembered another story about me trying to create a term, and since you're my universal recipient (like Type AB blood), I'm going to share. In the fall of '99, I worked for the Writing Program at UCSB. In fact, if you go to Google and type in ""peter klein" writing program" a message from me comes up that doesn't sound like it was written by me. I don't sign things, "Many thanks for your help," but there I am doing it. Man, am in one hell of a digressing mood this morning. I'm going to try to get through this fairly brief story without any further interruptions.

In the Writing Program, we were hungry and decided to order a pizza for lunch. As we talked about what toppings we liked, we easily settled on sausage, green pepper, and onion. "That should have a name," I said. They looked at me oddly, unsure of what I meant by that. "You know, like a Hawaiian pizza or a Denver omelet." They saw my point, and since UCSB resides in the city of Goleta, we wanted to start calling it the Goleta pizza. I devised a plan, feeling a little like Hannibal from the A-Team and loving it. First, I called the pizza place. Very cooly, I said, "Yeah, I'd like to order one large Goleta pizza for delivery please." "A what?" the man asked. "Oh," I said, as if he was stupid for not knowing, "a Goleta pizza - you know, sausage, peppers, and onions." He completed the order, and I'm 100% sure that after hanging up with me, he turned to a co-worker and asked, "Have you heard of a Goleta pizza?"

A couple of days later, one of my co-workers called the same place and had the same interaction with the guy who answered. All we had to do was keep this up a little longer, and soon they'd know what a Goleta pizza was. Then, years down the line, we'd see it on a menu somewhere and have definitive proof that our plan worked. The only problem is that we never called again. I only worked there a short amount of time after that particular week, and neither of us remembered to do it on our own. I still think that was a good plan, so maybe I'll reinstitute it some day. Because seriously, how awesome would that be? Cool enough that no one would believe me, but that's ok. It's about personal gain and not just the glory of adding things to the lexicon.

(I once met a young lady named Alexa Kahn by the way, and I couldn't bring myself to ask if she was related to Dick Shinary.)

Have a good day, gentle readers, and thanks for staying on board today as I veered all over the place. It may be time to lower my coffee intake. Tune in tomorrow for another installment Follow Up Friday. If you have anything for that or future posts, please send it along to ptklein@gmail.com. Thanks!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I remember Alexa Khan! That was glorious. I've told people about her since and am almost always met with a blank stare. Then I break name down: A lexicon, get it!? And still the blank stares. My friends are dumb.

Laynie said...

I love the idea of nonchalantly ordering a food item by a name you just made up. Can you try making the Tarzana smoothie or the PK burger a household name?

PK said...

Well let's start one then! Let's see...Tarzana was named after Tarzan author Edgar Rice Burrows, so I'm thinking an Egg, Rice, and Bacon burrito could work. Mmmm, breakfast. Then again, everything leads to burrito for me, so I should give this more thought.