Sentimental Centennial

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and children of all ages, today is a very special day. We are all bearing witness to something I never ever saw happening. Today, April 19th, 2007 marks my 100th post on UOPTA. (It's ok to scream in excitement, I won't judge you.) How the hell did this happen? My best guess is a combination of a dire need for a creative outlet, support and encouragement from loved ones, and the fact that you can't spell "persistent" without Peter. (Yes, I'm planning on working that in around once a week. Because I'm persistent, you see.)

I was just about to launch into a whole fake acceptance speech, but I wised up and stopped myself before I got too far into it. There have been many fabulous acceptance speeches through the years, but one doesn't get enough play in my mind. Basketball player Carmelo Anthony won the "Best Male College Athlete" award on ESPN's award show, and he ended the speech by thanking himself. People started laughing a little, but he kept on going, saying that he's the one who put in all the hours of hard work, etc., so he wanted to publicly thank himself. That, my friends, is comedy.

In all honesty, I do want to use today to thank everyone who has been reading, suggesting, commenting, and often inspiring during these hundred posts. I wouldn't have any interesting stories to tell without such a great network of immediate family, extended family, lifelong friends, more recent friends, and complete strangers, and I'm truly thankful for all of you. Mostly though, my lovely wife deserves thanks for all of the reasons I've mentioned before in this space. In addition, when I wondered aloud last week how long I can keep this up, she was there to remind me that I said the same thing after 30 posts. Thank you, my love.

There are four more people who also warrant mentioning. They have had a big impact on my life since very early on, and I owe a lot to them. Growing up, they lived inside one of the walls of my bedroom, and their names are Greenie, Grassy, Bob, and Chris. Here's a picture of them:

As you can most likely tell from the picture, Greenie and Bob are boys and Grassy and Chris are girls. And I don't want to freak any of you out a la "The Sixth Sense" or anything, but they're not actually real people. I'll give you a minute to let that sink in.

You ok? It's true; they're imaginary. I know many of you out there had imaginary friends when you were young, but how many of you had four of them? I wasn't an only child or a latch key kid or anything, so I'm not sure why my imagination worked so hard to create that number of companions.

I have zero idea how I came up with their names. I have a feeling that Greenie and Grassy's names are related, but that's the extent of it. I'm proud of young Peter's ingenuity though, especially his ability to use Chris as a female name (and Grassy, for that matter). My friend Lisa thinks their names are the funniest things she's ever heard. No matter how bad a day she's having, if someone were to whisper GGB&C's names to her, she'd bust up laughing. I'm going to have to try that one out, and if it doesn't work, it's her fault.

While I admit I'm overstating their role in my life a little, having four imaginary friends did positively affect me. My parents never discouraged this show of creativity one bit, no matter how frightened they might have been by it. My grandparents were also very supportive, and my Grandma Mu asked me to draw her a picture of my invisible friends so she could see them too (see above). Correct me if I'm wrong, but stick figures don't normally have stomachs, right? If they did though, wouldn't they all be roughly in the same place? I'm pretty sure Chris has a necktach or stomeck. Greenie's head looks pretty much like how I'd draw a person to this day, although the ears might be a little different. The other three though, man, they look more like Raggedy Ann dolls after being strung out on crystal meth and living on the street for two weeks.

But let's talk about something more important: their fingers. Seriously, what the hell was that all about? No one could've stopped me after the first one to tell me hands don't look like starfish? Greenie and Bob look like they're holding some kind of mutant insects or frogs. Chris (and her stomeck) appears to be holding two other stick figure people upside down. And Grassy looks like she's in "West Side Story" and ready to cut me.

Regardless of the lack of talent that's obvious to even the least-trained eye, that picture is the first evidence of my creativity on paper. (Sure, I was 17, but I was a late bloomer.) When my mom told me she had it a little while ago, I knew I had to write something about it here. I figure number 100 is as good a time as any.

Thanks again for reading, everyone. Please continue (or start) writing to ptklein@gmail.com to keep my mental fridge of ideas fully-stocked. See you back here tomorrow for another edition of Follow Up Friday, and have a great day today.