FUF #32

Good morning, or "goof morning," as I first typed it. If you printed out this post, sent it back in time 40 years and introduced it to the notion of Flower Power, then I think you could rightfully say, "We've got a groovy kind of FUF." You can't argue with the facts, man. Yes, it's another Follow Up Friday, and I think you might know what that means by now. In case you don't, I'm going to ramble about some stuff, ramble amount some different stuff, then get down to the dulcet tones of the Car Watch.

On Monday's post about my trip to Vegas with my lovely wife, I wrote about trying the "$20 tip upgrade trick." My mom called me later and asked if I felt sleazy doing that. Absolutely, but I think that even the sleaziest that I get is still very low on the Vegas Sleaze scale. My mom and I both agreed that my Grandpa Leo's advice of, "You don't ask, you don't get" has proven to be true several times. My buddy Jon and I once got to our room in Vegas only to find that it hadn't been cleaned yet. I went back down to registration, and as they were apologetically finding us a new room, I asked if there were any upgrades available. She checked and then said, "No, I'm sorry, but I can give you some food credit at the buffet." I thanked her, and we ended up with about $50 worth of food just because I asked.

In yesterday's post, I mentioned watching the Lakers as a kid. It reminded me of a little story that I don't think I can stretch into a full post. This is the place for such stories. While working at UCSB, I was a T.A. for a freshman course that introduced them to the roles and values of things like critical thinking and diversity in a university setting. Each T.A. had a student co-leader, and there was a selection process for those interested in becoming a co-leader. The night of the group interview, we were all encouraged to interact with the applicants to get a feel for who we'd like to work with. I was in a group with four hopefuls, and we were given the instruction to talk about a happy memory from our childhood. They all looked at me and asked me to go first. I had a happy childhood, so it was pretty tough to choose just one thing. "Well," I said, "I'd have to say that the year of 1988 was especially happy for me. Sports are big in my family, and that year saw the Lakers repeat as champions (when no one had done that for decades) and the Dodgers win the World Series, including Kirk Gibson's dramatic homerun. The four of us got a lot of shared joy out of those moments." They all nodded, and then a young woman spoke up. "I grew up very poor with my mom and four older siblings. When I was 15, she bought me a pair of jeans, and it was the first time that I had a new article of clothing that was just mine. It was a very special moment and I'll never forget it." And like that, I felt like privileged and shallow asshole. The other students' stories were much more similar to hers than mine. If I had gone last, I might've chosen something different that sounded more heartfelt and played it up a bit. Still, '88 was a fun year for me and I'll stand by my story. Go Lakers and Dodgers!

My lovely wife just obtained a copy of a cd by Evanescence. In their previous cd, their biggest hit had a guy repeating, "Can't wake up" several times throughout the song. He's no longer in the band and therefore not in this cd she just got, so I said, "I wonder if leaving the band has cured his...unsomnia? Somnia?" She didn't know what the right term would be, but now that I think about it, "coma" might be right.

Are you ready for some Car Watch action?

I saw a plate that read "AZN BABE" in traffic on the freeway. I made sure I could get a good look at the driver, and she was in fact an attractive Asian woman. I was impressed by her self-awareness.

Next, I was behind a car with "ISLBSKT" as its license plate. I really don't know what it is and I'm asking for your opinions. I feel like it has to be either "I sell basket," "I sell biscuit," "Isle biscuit," or something totally obvious that I'm missing. Help me out, yo.

Now this one I understood fine, but I still had a problem with it: "BSBL PHD." Really, buddy? You're going to put that on your vehicular resume for the world to see, knowing that any cursory background check would prove you to be a liar? I think that's careless, personally.

Last FUF, my homey Rockabye sent in a plate that misused the heart symbol on a plate. I saw one this week that isn't quite as good, but it still caught my eye (hence Car Watch). "MYKDZR(Heart)," it read. Either her kids are heart or her kids are love, and either way I am piss off.

My favorite brother called me to tell me about a license plate frame he was behind. It was on a Saturn, and it proclaimed, "My Saturn Will Kick Uranus." I actually approve of this one, even though it's an overused pun and it doesn't fully work as well as the driver probably hoped. The moral of the story: Peter finds the word "anus" funny.

But oh, I'll take misguided puns over misguided-hyper patriotism any day. Rockabye saw a plate that read, "USAFYEA." In case you missed that, it's short for, "U.S.A. Fuck yeah!" I wonder if he or she knows about the "America, Fuck Yeah" song in "Team America: World Police" making fun of uber nationalism. Damn, does anyone know where the umlauts are on this keyboard? I have an accentless resume and an umlautless uber. Hmmm, I see a fantasy sports team called The Umlautless Uber somewhere in my future. In any case, that same movie lampoons the "Freedom isn't free" sentiment. They agree that it isn't free and say it costs $1.05 (and if you don't pay it, who will?). Quality flick.

Ok, friends and friends of friends, it's time for me to head out. It's my Grandpa Harold's birthday this Sunday, and I'll tell him you all wish him a happy one. I'm good like that. Have a great weekend, and I'll see you back here on Monday.