It's just another Tragic Tuesday. Not what I would Chooseday. 'Cause that gives me the Bluesday. Mr. T pities the Foosday. It's just another Tragic Tuesday. Let that be a lesson to all of you: it's incredibly difficult to match the lyrical genius of the Bangles. I'm not even going to attempt "Walk Like a Jordanian" for fear of falling flat of my face in front of my friendly followers. F.
Good morning, gentle readers. I don't know how many of you came to this space yesterday since it was a holiday, but the sun never sets on UOPTA. I published a post about the circumstances around me obtaining my driving permit, and that naturally leads to today's post about going for my actual license to drive. Y'all ready for this? (Cue the music.)
Let me begin with a little background about my car. I was very fortunate to have a car of my own, and I loved it. It was a metallic blue 1988 Ford Bronco 2 in good condition with a bunch of miles on it. (Please note, our favorite former-running-back-turned-movie-actor-turned-exonerated-killer drove a Bronco and not a Bronco 2.) I got it a month before my 16th birthday, and it treated me very well during that time as I completed my training and readied myself for the exam.
The day came, and I went with my mom back to the DMV. After checking in and doing whatever pre-test paperwork I needed, I was instructed to drive the car into the line of waiting test-takers and keep it running. After the cars in front of me left one by one, a big scary woman motioned for me to pull forward a little. "More," she said sternly, so I pulled up a little more. "Shut it off," she grunted, and I quickly obliged. She asked me to show her my hand signals, where the button for the hazard lights was, etc., and then got into my car next to me.
"Start the car," she commanded. I turned the key, and nothing happened. "Start the car," she repeated. Starting to freak out a little now, I turned the key again. Absolutely nothing. "Uh, I..." I started to say, unsure of how I was going to finish the sentence. Luckily she jumped in: "You're in the wrong gear," she said, and then she started making notations on her scoring sheet. She was right, of course. When she said, "Shut it off" before, it was so abrupt that I forgot to put the car in park. Still in drive (and being an automatic), it wasn't going to start for me. Speaking of starting, that was not at all how I wanted to begin my test.
I'm a bit of a perfectionist with many things, so knowing that I already prevented myself from getting 100% wasn't a good feeling. I was a little rattled after that first bonehead maneuver, and despite how many times I told myself just to shake it off, it was still in the back on my mind for the remainder of the test. The lady had me take her around some residential streets, and I was doing everything by the book. I stayed below the speed limit, and felt like I was literally crawling through some intersections. I checked my mirrors often, and I even intentionally exaggerated my head movements to ensure that she was aware of every single time. With my hands firmly at 10 and 2, I was finally beginning to feel at ease during the latter end of the test.
"Do a three-point turn here," she barked. I signaled, checked my mirrors, and then turned into the driveway she had pointed out. I put the car in reverse and looked all around to make sure no one was coming. There was one problem though: my car temporarily stopped listening to me. It wouldn't kick into reverse and was instead just acting like neutral. "Uh, this hasn't happened before," I said. I then quickly added, "We're taking it in tomorrow though." She nodded and wrote something else down. I put it back into drive, waited, and then tried reverse again. After a hesitation, we could feel it jump into the gear. I rechecked everything around me and completed my turn.
To say I was on edge for the rest of the test is a slight understatement. Try as I might, I couldn't help but notice how often she was writing things on my scoring sheet. She guided me back to the DMV (which is good, because I wouldn't have been able to get us back there on my own) and then told me where to park. I actually put it in park this time before turning the car off, I'll have you know. I waited as she wrote a few more things down, and then with a tone that I can only describe as "Geez-you're-a-lucky-bastard," she shook her head and said, "Well...you passed." By her tone, it sounded like I got a 70 (which I think was the minimum needed to pass) or some technicality allowed me to pass even though I had royally screwed up.
I knew that passing was passing, but I had been hoping to do very well and it was clear that I hadn't. She told me to go to the counter to get my picture taken and sign something, so I did. I don't know why it took me so long, but it wasn't until I was almost at the counter that I looked down at the test and saw my score. 91 out of 100. I was marked off 3 points for "Wrong gear" in a section usually reserved for people with manual transmissions, and 6 points for having a right turn end in the wrong lane. I thought (and still think) that the far right lane was a parking lane only, but I'll let her slide. Everything else she wrote was either just a check mark or "Good" in the margins. Under remarks, she wrote, "Good drive!!" Yeah, two exclamations from a woman that made it sound like I only passed because my dad was the governor and she'd be fired if she failed me.
Much like the aftermath of my permit test, I felt more relief than excitement when it was all done. I kept trying to tell myself that I now had my license and my life was about to get exponentially cooler, but the joy didn't kick in for a while. I kept hearing, "Well...you passed," and ignoring the "Good drive!!" Oh well, I guess that's human nature. Disirregardless, it was because I passed that test that I had the distict privilege of sitting in traffic this morning. Thank you, Big Scary Woman!!
Have a great Tuesday everyone, and enjoy this shortened workweek. If you missed yesterday's post because reading it counts as laboring, you can find it below. Got anything you want to share? Please email ptklein@gmail.com, and the odds are extremely high that I'll respond.
5 comments:
DMV story from long ago. I had just gone to the DMV to pay a ticket for "exhibition of speed". Yes, I was and still am a hot-rodder.
I was walking out and saw a young Filipino man meet the person that was going to give him the driving test. The whole family was outside witnessing the event. The instructor said something to the young man and he had a slightly blank look on his face. The whole family offered some explanation in Tagalog to which the instructor got royally pissed off and yelled....yelled at the family. "This test is being administered in English and only English". They quieted down until another instruction was not understood and someone said something quietly in Tagalog and the instructor abruptly got out of the car and scribbled something on the sheet and left. The family stood there in amazement as I walked past them to my car. Whoa! Things have certainly changed since then.
My driving test was a very scary chapter in my younger life. My family had just moved to California, two weeks after my 16th birthday. My father did his best to take me out a few times on the city streets, but I didn't realize how blissfully unprepared I was for the actual exam. Three point turn? What's that? Park on a hill? Huh? I failed miserably. For someone who never flunked tests, I was humiliated. I practiced just a little bit more with my father for about a week, and took the driving test again. Frankly, test #2 didn't go much better, but I eked out a 72%. And the rest is motoring history.
Okay - being a perfectionist myself, I was very worried about using either of my parents cars for the test. They only had manual transmissions, and I was afraid of missing points for not shifting correctly or whatever.
So, I paid for my parents to rent a car with an automatic. Cheating? to some, yes. But it worked.
I aced everything...doing great, until we got back to the DMV. I overshot the driveway and made a really messed up left turn. Minus 3 points.
I missed perfect by one stinking turn! Still bugs me.
I received a whopping 76 on the first try (in 1963)and that was ok with me. I have a friend that took the test before me and he almost hit a pedestrian in a cross walk. The instructor said, "Rick you've failed. I'll drive the car back".
I was forced to visit to the DMV last Friday. I had to have a new picture taken since my current one is very old.The clerk asked if there were any changes in the information listed and I admitted to a few more pounds. She then told me she always puts her goal weight. I liked her thinking.
I almost forgot to tell her I had Lasik eye surgery and no longer wear glasses. A quick exam and she removed the restriction "must wear corrective lenses". After all these years of that box checked off it was gone. So thanks Dr. Moosa and all the Kleins before me that had the same surgery.
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