Artful disapproval

On my way to work this morning, I was behind a car that had a couple of bumper stickers on it. I pay attention to these, because my friends (most often Dusty) and I text each other with BSRs, or Bumper Sticker Reports. This car had something on it that has been around for some time now: a picture of Calvin from the comic "Calvin and Hobbes" urinating on something. Through the years, I've seen him tinkle on lots of things. Often it's a rival of sorts, whether it's the Dallas Cowboys, the Sacramento Kings (or Lakers when I was in Sac-town), or Al Qaeda.

This morning's depicted little Calvin pissing on the logo for Toyota. I'd try to describe the logo, but I can't get much more specific than saying it has an oval and some round lines. You know what I mean though, right? Anyway, the bumper sticker was on a Tercel, made by Toyota. This confused me, and I spent the last five minutes of my drive trying to figure out what statement that person was trying to make. Was it "I think this car's a piece of shit but I'm stuck with it"? Was it out of fear of looking unpatriotic? "I really love America, I swear, but my wife made me get this so we could save a little more on gas"? Or was this person just a complete moron who fails to understand the confusing message s/he's putting out there? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, gentle readers.

I can think of two examples in particular of Calvin bumper stickers that have probably done more harm than good. First, I saw Calvin relieving himself on "La Migra," or how INS is referred to in Spanish. Second, I saw him micturating on "DEA." Maybe I'm more cautious than the average man, but don't you think at some point these people will regret the decision to put stickers like those on their cars? Maybe the first person is not an illegal immigrant but rather someone against their policies. Fine, I have no problem with voicing one's opinion, but you'd better believe any regular traffic stop will involve a closer look at their documents than usual.

And for the DEA guy...I'm almost at a loss for words on that one. If you put that on your car, you're asking to be pulled over and searched. Even if he will never have drugs in his car, that can't make anything easier. And if he ever does have drugs in his car, I bet the only thought running through his head the entire drive is, "Oh, why did I put that stupid sticker on my car?"

What would be the worst thing to have Calvin wizz on? Please chime in. I'm between "Stupid Fucking Cops," "All Women," and "Russell Crowe." Ya know, just in case he sees it.

Happy (beat) Hump Day, everyone. My wife and I both agree that it should be Thursday today since yesterday felt like it should've been Wednesday. Alas, it's not.