As I've mentioned in the space before, I went to a little bubble of a private elementary school through 6th grade. When the time came to go to junior high, I was nervous for several reasons. First off, I had just been a big fish in a small pond, and I felt like I was about to be a guppy in an ocean. Second, I had two of my best friends going there with me, but they were practically the only people I would know in the entire ocean at first. Third, the school started in 6th grade, so I felt like all of the 7th graders would already have formed their friendships while I was just one of "the new kids" (not to be confused with "The New Kids of the Block," because I think I would've worried less about my social life had that been the case). Lastly, I was nervous because I would be living a lie.
You see, we didn't live within that junior high school's district. We were just a couple of streets away from the magic line, but I was supposed to be going to a different school. After asking around, it was clear that one school was better than the other, so we did what was necessary: we lied. My grandmother's friend Ruth lived in the right place, and she was nice enough to let us use her address. She became "Aunt Ruth," and I "lived there with my mom because my parents were separated." I memorized the address and could rattle it off quickly if needed, but I was still nervous. I needed some more backstory to get fully immersed in my character: Was Aunt Ruth my Grandma's sister, sister-in-law, or from my Grandpa's side? What happened between my parents? Did they still love me even though they didn't love each other anymore? If asked, I wanted to be able to answer these questions. Maybe I'd meet a girl whose parents were really separated, and our relationship would be built on my false empathy. Then I'd have to tell her the horrible secret at some point and she'd push me away for lying, leaving me to concoct some plan to win her back by telling her in front of the whole school that I wasn't just lying to her...I was lying to myself too. We'd probably kiss then, and that would be pretty cool.
In any case, I wasn't 100% comfortable on that first day, knowing that I was lying by my mere presence on the campus. It didn't help AT ALL that the kid sitting next to me in 1st period was wearing the same shirt I was. I had picked it out weeks ahead of time to make my splash on the scene, and I guess he did too. One guy thought it was funny to ask if we were brothers, but I didn't find that nearly as humorous. I made it through that first challenge though, and I just hoped that I didn't have many more classes with that same kid that day.
My two friends, Adam and Jason, had lockers right next to mine, so I felt comfortable chatting with them after 2nd period (now called "Nutrition" instead of "Recess," which I thought was a curious choice since it actually was a recess and had nothing to do with the healthfulness of my snack). One more locker over, there was a young girl getting her books. One of us said hello to her, and she smiled and said "Hi" back. Adam and Jason left, and I was alone with her for a minute as I filled up my backpack with what I'd need for 3rd and 4th. She turned to me and said, "So what grade are you in?" "7th," I answered, not knowing if that would make me cool or stupid. She nodded. "You too?" I asked. "No, I'm in 6th," she said. I nodded, since that seemed to be the appropriate response. Then she closed her locker, and just before walking away, she turned to me and said something that sounded like, "And by the way, I'm onto you."
I stood there, frozen with fear for the next ten seconds. "What did she mean, she's onto me? How could she know? Is she going to tell the principal? Will my first day also be my last day? Will I have to have another first day at the other school? Then I'll really be the new kid. How did I give it away so easily?" I kept going over it, wondering if at any point in our two-line conversation I had slipped in, "I DON'T REALLY LIVE IN THIS DISTRICT!" I didn't remember doing that, so maybe I just mis-heard her.
Regardless, I spent the next two periods wracking my brain over what else she could've said. I could only come up with one alternative: "I'm hot for you." That would've been extremely forward of her, but maybe that's how junior high worked. It was possible, I thought, that she saw me earlier that morning and wanted to snag me (especially since I was an older man) before the other girls had a chance. She did wait for my friends to leave, after all. I still didn't think that scenario was too likely, but it was all I could come up with besides "I'm onto you."
In the car ride home, I told my mom what had happened. She laughed a little too long at my "I'm hot for you" hypothesis, and she agreed that I must have mid-heard her. I saw the girl again the next day, but it was limited to exchanging hellos. The next day, the same thing happened. I just wanted some hint, either way, as to what she said that first day. Either a little head shake or a wink or something to let me know what was going on. It was really eating me up inside, and so I did the unthinkable: I talked to her.
"Hi," I said, mustering up every last drop of fake confidence I had. "Hi," she responded, grabbing books from her locker. "I know this is going to sound strange," I continued, "but when we met a couple of days ago, you said something just before you left. I didn't hear you, and I was wondering if you remembered what it was." She made a puzzled face and said, "Um, no, I don't remember. Sorry." She went back to grabbing her books, and I turned to my locker, defeated. "Great, now she knows I'm lying and she thinks I'm a weirdo," I thought to myself. Then I felt her turn to face me. "Oh," she said smiling as she swung her backpack onto her shoulder and slammed the locker, "I probably told you my name. I'm Andrea."
As she walked away, and I repeated her name to myself: "ON-dree-uh. By the way, I'm ON-dree-uh. I'm ON-dree-uh." It made so much more sense now. Why did she have to pronounce it that way? Either having it sound more like Andrew or like Andrea Bocelli (on-DRAY-uh) would've stopped the problem before it ever happened. Oh well, it made for one hell of a memorable foray into the world of public school.
You see, we didn't live within that junior high school's district. We were just a couple of streets away from the magic line, but I was supposed to be going to a different school. After asking around, it was clear that one school was better than the other, so we did what was necessary: we lied. My grandmother's friend Ruth lived in the right place, and she was nice enough to let us use her address. She became "Aunt Ruth," and I "lived there with my mom because my parents were separated." I memorized the address and could rattle it off quickly if needed, but I was still nervous. I needed some more backstory to get fully immersed in my character: Was Aunt Ruth my Grandma's sister, sister-in-law, or from my Grandpa's side? What happened between my parents? Did they still love me even though they didn't love each other anymore? If asked, I wanted to be able to answer these questions. Maybe I'd meet a girl whose parents were really separated, and our relationship would be built on my false empathy. Then I'd have to tell her the horrible secret at some point and she'd push me away for lying, leaving me to concoct some plan to win her back by telling her in front of the whole school that I wasn't just lying to her...I was lying to myself too. We'd probably kiss then, and that would be pretty cool.
In any case, I wasn't 100% comfortable on that first day, knowing that I was lying by my mere presence on the campus. It didn't help AT ALL that the kid sitting next to me in 1st period was wearing the same shirt I was. I had picked it out weeks ahead of time to make my splash on the scene, and I guess he did too. One guy thought it was funny to ask if we were brothers, but I didn't find that nearly as humorous. I made it through that first challenge though, and I just hoped that I didn't have many more classes with that same kid that day.
My two friends, Adam and Jason, had lockers right next to mine, so I felt comfortable chatting with them after 2nd period (now called "Nutrition" instead of "Recess," which I thought was a curious choice since it actually was a recess and had nothing to do with the healthfulness of my snack). One more locker over, there was a young girl getting her books. One of us said hello to her, and she smiled and said "Hi" back. Adam and Jason left, and I was alone with her for a minute as I filled up my backpack with what I'd need for 3rd and 4th. She turned to me and said, "So what grade are you in?" "7th," I answered, not knowing if that would make me cool or stupid. She nodded. "You too?" I asked. "No, I'm in 6th," she said. I nodded, since that seemed to be the appropriate response. Then she closed her locker, and just before walking away, she turned to me and said something that sounded like, "And by the way, I'm onto you."
I stood there, frozen with fear for the next ten seconds. "What did she mean, she's onto me? How could she know? Is she going to tell the principal? Will my first day also be my last day? Will I have to have another first day at the other school? Then I'll really be the new kid. How did I give it away so easily?" I kept going over it, wondering if at any point in our two-line conversation I had slipped in, "I DON'T REALLY LIVE IN THIS DISTRICT!" I didn't remember doing that, so maybe I just mis-heard her.
Regardless, I spent the next two periods wracking my brain over what else she could've said. I could only come up with one alternative: "I'm hot for you." That would've been extremely forward of her, but maybe that's how junior high worked. It was possible, I thought, that she saw me earlier that morning and wanted to snag me (especially since I was an older man) before the other girls had a chance. She did wait for my friends to leave, after all. I still didn't think that scenario was too likely, but it was all I could come up with besides "I'm onto you."
In the car ride home, I told my mom what had happened. She laughed a little too long at my "I'm hot for you" hypothesis, and she agreed that I must have mid-heard her. I saw the girl again the next day, but it was limited to exchanging hellos. The next day, the same thing happened. I just wanted some hint, either way, as to what she said that first day. Either a little head shake or a wink or something to let me know what was going on. It was really eating me up inside, and so I did the unthinkable: I talked to her.
"Hi," I said, mustering up every last drop of fake confidence I had. "Hi," she responded, grabbing books from her locker. "I know this is going to sound strange," I continued, "but when we met a couple of days ago, you said something just before you left. I didn't hear you, and I was wondering if you remembered what it was." She made a puzzled face and said, "Um, no, I don't remember. Sorry." She went back to grabbing her books, and I turned to my locker, defeated. "Great, now she knows I'm lying and she thinks I'm a weirdo," I thought to myself. Then I felt her turn to face me. "Oh," she said smiling as she swung her backpack onto her shoulder and slammed the locker, "I probably told you my name. I'm Andrea."
As she walked away, and I repeated her name to myself: "ON-dree-uh. By the way, I'm ON-dree-uh. I'm ON-dree-uh." It made so much more sense now. Why did she have to pronounce it that way? Either having it sound more like Andrew or like Andrea Bocelli (on-DRAY-uh) would've stopped the problem before it ever happened. Oh well, it made for one hell of a memorable foray into the world of public school.
Gentle readers, I hope that you, your friends, your family members, and your fake family members all had a nice weekend. Now get back to work, and remember, I'm onto you.
3 comments:
It is amazing how both you and Amber remain two of the most honest people I know! Amber also had to memorize her "new" address in order to get into the elementary school of her choice!
Sorry if I stole some of this thunder. I think it came out great.
You poor tortured child. I'm sorry I laughed at you. I'm sure Andrea was, in fact, hot for you.
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