FUF #13

I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes. FUF is all around me, and so my blogging grows. Hello once again, gentle readers, and welcome to the lucky 13th Follow Up Friday. Ooh, almost spoooooky. As always, I'm going to ramble a bit about things I wrote about earlier, things I just feel like telling you, and the newest installment of Mega Live Car Watch 7000 HD.

"Whistle" has a silent T, by the way. I know I already had two words for that letter in my quest for silence, but I feel like I should've thought of that one at the time.

Exciting news - I'm joining a bowling league. I'm as thrilled as thrilled can be, and please don't read any sarcasm into that. I enjoy bowling, did a lot of it growing up and then again in college, and I'm looking forward to regularly getting together with good friends and making some pins fly. We're still working on a team name, and I just suggested "Hip Hop Anonymous" to the group. So far, only one of the other three has replied.

Today I may be getting a new ball. I've had the same one since I was about 14, and it's time for something heavier and something that actually fits my hand. My name is on my current one, and while that's pretty nerdy, I think I want to do that again. Finding a league was tough. I called one place and asked about their leagues, and he directed me to a website. While still on the phone, I typed it in and was immediately struck by the heading at the top of the page: "One of America's Largest Gay Bowling Leagues." I was a little surprised that he directed me there, and had to ask the uncomfortable question: "Uh, do you have any leagues that are...not geared toward the gay population?" "Oh sure," he said, and told me about the other days and times available. What was I putting out there that made him jump to that conclusion? I don't mind people making incorrect assumptions about me, but I would like to know what causes them. In any case, none of the dates and times worked so I had to try another alley.

The next place had one that worked with our schedules, but I was concerned because it was called "Party Animals." Here's why I was concerned: 1. I'm not really a party animal so I don't want this to be a league in which you do body shots off the scorecard girl after every strike. 2. I take bowling seriously, so if others don't, I don't want to be distracted. The gentleman replied that it's just typically a little louder than the other leagues. So we're gonna do it, and I'm excited. I'll let you know more about my new ball when I get it, because I know you're dying to hear about it.

I wrote about my brother and little things he'd do to torment me in yesterday's post. I remembered one other funny thing to share. When "Come Together" by the Beatles came on, Kevin proceeded to sing it as "Dorky Brother...is what...Peter is." One time it was on, and he held a tape recorder to my mouth and grabbed me by the neck. He wanted me to sing it and he wanted it recorded. So I sang but slightly modified it. On the tape, you would now hear: "Dorky Brother...is what...Peter has. Ow, ow! Is, I meant is! Ow, stop it!" He couldn't help but admire my ingenuity under duress, and I could see him trying not to smile as he punished me for my insubordination.

(In all honesty, Kevin and I had way more fun together than turmoil as youths, and we have a great friendship as adults now. The poor guy still apologizes for his behavior almost every time we talk, even though I've told him repeatedly that it's ok. Kevin, it's ok, you can't hurt me anymore. Ok, well you probably can, but that's not the point.)

SUPER HAPPY CAR WATCH ULTRA 9 BILLION!

I was behind a car that had some frame about having triplets. The plate itself read "3AT1NCE." I like it.

I've seen plate frames in the past that say, "I'm not spoiled, just well taken care of." I think those are stupid, and that's what I thought the one in front of me was going to say earlier this week. Instead, it read, "I'm not spoiled, my family just loved me." I have two things to say about this. First, the past tense is a little strange and potentially sad. Second, the subtext I get from the frame is, "If your family doesn't shower you with gifts including a car, they obviously never loved you." I have a tendency to read too much into things, but I don't think I am here.

On the 405 in traffic, I spied a nice little BMW with the plate "SLF M8D." I'm guessing he wanted that to be like "Self Made," but I thought it was suspiciously close to "Self Mated." Sounds like someone took "Go fuck yourself" too literally.

Rockabye wrote in and said that he saw a plate that read "IM BALD." I asked the all-important question, and yes, the driver was bald. Uh, yay? I don't even know what to say here.

Also this week, I saw a bumper sticker that had the name of a winery on it, then below read, "Wine Fit for My Dogs." Help me out here. Unless it's a winery that makes canine wine (which is catchy but probably not the case), it sounds like an insult to me. If so, who advertises their dislike for winery in that fashion? I'm hoping someone else has a thought about this one.

Lastly, Kevin was behind a car that took things a little past a line I'm comfortable with. First, it had a sticker that read, "Missing your cat? Look under my tires!" Then, as if that weren't enough, it had, "Be Kind to Animals. Chew Slowly." Come on now. I can understand vegetarians having stickers about not killing animals because they've made a big choice in their daily lives and feel strongly about it. But who hates all animals and animal lovers enough to put not one but two things like that on his car? The answer: this guy I guess. Maybe he just wants to get a rise out of people, and animal lovers are easy targets.

Ok, that's it for now. Have a wonderful weekend, gentle readers. If you're a mother, enjoy your special day on Sunday. My mom's on the other side of the planet right now, but she'll have a lovely card awaiting her when she gets back. And by "lovely" I mean "Happy Birthday, dude, let's drink some beer." Nothing says Mothers' Day like that. Remember folks, write to ptklein@gmail.com with thoughts, ideas, and observations.