Soak up the pun

Buenos dias, lectores dulces. We returned from our Mexican vacation last night, and we had a wonderful time. Actually, everything but the part of my brain that understands the concept of time returned last night. I say that because I'm sitting here typing at five in the frickin' morning when I should still be sleeping. Silly brain.

Before I get into anything else, I have to wholeheartedly thank my Bratty Kid Sister for filling in for me this past week. I had a chance to read the posts before all of you (because I'm special), and I was glad to see by the comments that you all enjoyed her posts as much as I did. Stacy, you kick ass, and I hope I have more vacations in the future that require your services.

Hold on for a second please, I need to go pour my coffee. It's Don Francisco brand, so hopefully that will ease the transition from Mexico to the U.S. a little better. Ok, I'm back. I missed you all tremendously. You're now witnessing Pre-Coffee-Peter, who rarely makes any kind of appearance, let alone in print. PCP is just a touch grumpier and more easily confused than Caffeinated Peter, but we should be ok here.

So, onto a little bit about the vacation. We had a fantastic time, and it was exactly what we were looking for. "Fantastic" was my lovely wife's word of the week. Whether it was the ocean view from the place, my red snapper served with chili arbol sauce, or the mojito during happy hour at the place nearby, "fantastic" was her word of choice. I can't argue with that selection, although I liked mixing in a "fabulous" here and there.

Guess what I learned on this trip? Yes, iguanas can jump, but that's not what I'm going for right now. Good guess though. I learned that my habit of making bad puns is not restricted to the United States. Amazing, I know. (Ah, first sip of coffee. Hello, old friend.) On the first full day of our vacation, there were four that I remembered to jot down at the end of the day to share with you all.

First off, we were snorkeling in the bay right outside the condo (and I mean right outside). Whenever I snorkel, I tend to lose my inner monologue and speak aloud to the fish and other things beneath the surface. I also tend to sing "Yellow Submarine" out loud through the tube, but that's neither here nor there. So I was snorkeling, and I suddenly noticed that there was a school of fish. Dozens of little fellers were right near me in a perfect sheet of a pattern, but I got too close and they broke their form to avoid the danger they believed I posed. Aloud but muffled, I said through my tube, "Sorry guys, didn't mean to disturb your lesson. Hee hee hee. Get it, because you're a school." I don't know why I speak such things, but they are spoken nonetheless.

A little while later, I swam over to my lovely wife. "Hey, did you see those things that look like flowers on the bottom of the ocean?" I asked. "You mean a sea anemone?" "Si, anemone," I replied, smiling as she gave me the "yes I know I walked right into that one but it's still pretty silly so don't be too proud of yourself" look that I know so well. (By the way, I had said and typed 'anenome' but my references say I've been wrong about that for a long time. It's really 'anemone' and not 'anenome?' Great, now they both sound made up.)

For the third thing, I can't even appropriately set it up because I don't remember the circumstances in which I said it. All you need to know that is that I said, "Great Mayans think alike."

Lastly, we were sitting under a big hut-like structure in a restaurant the first evening. I looked up and said, "Hmmm, I wonder if Margaret made this." My wife looked at me, and the confusion turned to the "ok, hold on, I'll try to figure out where you're going with this one" look. After a few seconds, I could see she was about to give up, so I encouraged her by saying, "You'll get there, you'll get there." A few more seconds went by, and then she looked at me with another patented move. It's the "I'm shaking my head disapprovingly at your bad pun but I can't completely suppress my smile" one that lets me know that she actually enjoys my oddness. "Because she's a Thatcher?" she asked. Oh yeah. How could I not love that woman?

So, gentle readers. I'm back, even though I originally said I wouldn't be writing again until Tuesday. I was lying in bed though, unable to fall asleep, and I decided to be productive instead of having more of those frustrating ten-second dreams. I hope you all had a great week, and I'll be back with some more tomorrow. I'm not inviting Pre-Coffee-Peter though; that guy's weird.

Don't forget to write to ptklein@gmail.com with thoughts, stories, Car Watch items, questions, or random observations.