First, before anything else, I must wish my dear friend Lisa a happy birthday. Yes, the same Lisa who earlier this week in my blog had assless jeans. She's a rebel.
As time moves forward and my vacation to Mexico draws ever-nearer, my attention to work-related details is unfortunately growing less and less potent. That's ok though, because when I come back, I'll be all recharged and ready to kick names and take ass. Or something like that. Maybe it’s just an old wives’ tale, but I’ve heard that nothing cures a workplace rut like Coronas and tacos. How come old wives are so smart with these things? Young husbands totally get the shaft in the home remedy/superstition subsection of knowledge, and I’m a little offended by that. And with that random gripe, let’s head over to today's topic:
Yesterday I wrote a little immodestly about how I kicked ass in every subject but penmanship throughout elementary school. Let me assure you, I can't make that same claim for the years of schooling that followed that. I did fine in the end, but there were many more ups and downs. I guess “elementary school” is more than just a catchy name.
I had been good in history classes because of my ability to memorize things. Names, dates, and facts in general just stuck in my brain (and still tend to, actually). After leaving the cozy confines of Pinecrest Elementary School though, things changed a bit. Suddenly in high school and college, mere recitation was not enough. I needed to spit out the memorized stuff and then be able to say why it was significant. Uh oh. That led to one of Dusty's favorite stories of mine: We were in a history class and the teacher gave us a pop quiz on stuff we were supposed to have read by then. One topic I had to write about was the Know Nothing Party. I needed to say who they were and the significant role they played in history. I hadn't studied that at all, so I made stuff up. "The Know Nothing Party rebelled against all previously established notions of intelligence, thereby paving the way for more open-minded avenues of thought. This method was significant because it enabled them to say that they - like me - know nothing." I think I actually got partial credit for that somehow. Dusty loves the “like me” and cites it as frequently as he can remember. By the way, here's what that party really is (and it's way more interesting than my bullshit): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Know_nothing_party
Math went from being easy and fun to difficult and stupid very quickly. Where there had been cute little formulas to find the value of X, now I needed the "f of X," or some shit like that. Not my bag, baby. I had no problem memorizing the stuff, but applying it was a whole different story. Therefore, I stopped taking math the minute I was allowed to. That posed a problem with the fields of science though. I really enjoyed the biological sciences (especially physiology), but there were three obstacles in my way of majoring in that: calculus, physics, and chemistry. Aside from those, I would've been golden.
I'm still good at simple math. Adding, subtracting, multiplying, dividing, fractions, and simple formulas are right in my wheelhouse. I actually use all of those fairly frequently still, and I like calling on those skills. I even occasionally wow people with the simple math that I can do in my head, and I’m proud of that. However, there are occasions that my attempts to use math make me look and sound incredibly stupid. Here are two examples:
1. I was on the phone with a client and the conversation turned to traffic. I told him that although I work in Santa Monica, we recently bought a house in the valley so the commute was sometimes horrendous. He asked how long it took me to get home, and I said, "It sometimes takes me an hour to go the 16 miles from my office to home. That means I'm averaging..." I pulled my calculator over and started punching numbers. "Let's see," I said, still aloud. "That's 16 miles divided by...oh my God I am such a moron." I realized a little too late that 16 miles in an hour is 16 miles per hour. Not one of my finer moments, and I immediately blamed it on a lack of coffee and majoring in English, hoping those things would make up for the idiotic error.
2. When my lovely wife and I were in Canada on vacation, we had to do math fairly often. At the time, the exchange rate was very similar to the calculation needed to go from kilometers to miles. If something was $60 Canadian, it would be about $40 American. Likewise, if something was 60 kilometers away, we knew it would be about 40 miles. It was a pretty simple formula, and I got decent at calculating 2/3 in my head after a short while. One day on our trip though, I made an error. We were driving to our next stop, and I commented that we should be arriving any minute now. My wife was confused by this and said, “No, it’s a three-hour drive so we still have about an hour left before we get there.” “But,” I started to say, then stopped immediately. I tried playing it off, but she figured out what I had done. Yes, I converted the Canadian time of 3 hours into 2 hours American. I know, I know, you’re in the presence of sheer brilliance.
So, that’s how grown-up Peter does math. I guess everyone’s knowledge gets less well-rounded as they grow up, but it still surprises me to see what boneheaded errors I can make from time to time. Have any of you ever done anything like either of those examples? Come on, don’t be shy, share your stupidity with me. Strength in numbers, gentle readers.
Have a great Wednesday, everyone. I’ll be writing more tomorrow and Friday, then my Bratty Kid Sister will take over for a week while I’m out of town. So that’s only 5 more posts from me until then. Or maybe 3 more. I’m confused.
Yesterday I wrote a little immodestly about how I kicked ass in every subject but penmanship throughout elementary school. Let me assure you, I can't make that same claim for the years of schooling that followed that. I did fine in the end, but there were many more ups and downs. I guess “elementary school” is more than just a catchy name.
I had been good in history classes because of my ability to memorize things. Names, dates, and facts in general just stuck in my brain (and still tend to, actually). After leaving the cozy confines of Pinecrest Elementary School though, things changed a bit. Suddenly in high school and college, mere recitation was not enough. I needed to spit out the memorized stuff and then be able to say why it was significant. Uh oh. That led to one of Dusty's favorite stories of mine: We were in a history class and the teacher gave us a pop quiz on stuff we were supposed to have read by then. One topic I had to write about was the Know Nothing Party. I needed to say who they were and the significant role they played in history. I hadn't studied that at all, so I made stuff up. "The Know Nothing Party rebelled against all previously established notions of intelligence, thereby paving the way for more open-minded avenues of thought. This method was significant because it enabled them to say that they - like me - know nothing." I think I actually got partial credit for that somehow. Dusty loves the “like me” and cites it as frequently as he can remember. By the way, here's what that party really is (and it's way more interesting than my bullshit): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Know_nothing_party
Math went from being easy and fun to difficult and stupid very quickly. Where there had been cute little formulas to find the value of X, now I needed the "f of X," or some shit like that. Not my bag, baby. I had no problem memorizing the stuff, but applying it was a whole different story. Therefore, I stopped taking math the minute I was allowed to. That posed a problem with the fields of science though. I really enjoyed the biological sciences (especially physiology), but there were three obstacles in my way of majoring in that: calculus, physics, and chemistry. Aside from those, I would've been golden.
I'm still good at simple math. Adding, subtracting, multiplying, dividing, fractions, and simple formulas are right in my wheelhouse. I actually use all of those fairly frequently still, and I like calling on those skills. I even occasionally wow people with the simple math that I can do in my head, and I’m proud of that. However, there are occasions that my attempts to use math make me look and sound incredibly stupid. Here are two examples:
1. I was on the phone with a client and the conversation turned to traffic. I told him that although I work in Santa Monica, we recently bought a house in the valley so the commute was sometimes horrendous. He asked how long it took me to get home, and I said, "It sometimes takes me an hour to go the 16 miles from my office to home. That means I'm averaging..." I pulled my calculator over and started punching numbers. "Let's see," I said, still aloud. "That's 16 miles divided by...oh my God I am such a moron." I realized a little too late that 16 miles in an hour is 16 miles per hour. Not one of my finer moments, and I immediately blamed it on a lack of coffee and majoring in English, hoping those things would make up for the idiotic error.
2. When my lovely wife and I were in Canada on vacation, we had to do math fairly often. At the time, the exchange rate was very similar to the calculation needed to go from kilometers to miles. If something was $60 Canadian, it would be about $40 American. Likewise, if something was 60 kilometers away, we knew it would be about 40 miles. It was a pretty simple formula, and I got decent at calculating 2/3 in my head after a short while. One day on our trip though, I made an error. We were driving to our next stop, and I commented that we should be arriving any minute now. My wife was confused by this and said, “No, it’s a three-hour drive so we still have about an hour left before we get there.” “But,” I started to say, then stopped immediately. I tried playing it off, but she figured out what I had done. Yes, I converted the Canadian time of 3 hours into 2 hours American. I know, I know, you’re in the presence of sheer brilliance.
So, that’s how grown-up Peter does math. I guess everyone’s knowledge gets less well-rounded as they grow up, but it still surprises me to see what boneheaded errors I can make from time to time. Have any of you ever done anything like either of those examples? Come on, don’t be shy, share your stupidity with me. Strength in numbers, gentle readers.
Have a great Wednesday, everyone. I’ll be writing more tomorrow and Friday, then my Bratty Kid Sister will take over for a week while I’m out of town. So that’s only 5 more posts from me until then. Or maybe 3 more. I’m confused.
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