FUF #34

Good morning and buenos dias, mis amigos y amigos de amigos. As the wise Beatles once sang, "Treasure these few words til we're together/Keep all my love forever/P.S. I FUF you. You you you!" At least I think that's what they said. Disirregardless, it's another Follow Up Friday. As custom dictates, I shall now proceed to ramble moderately-coherently about topics related to previous posts, new things that both strike and tickle my fancy, and then amaze you with another gratifying installment of Car Watch. What's that? Setting the bar too high? Damn.

Earlier this week, I wrote a post about band names and remembered a little story that didn't fit there. Back in high school, the song "Breakfast at Tiffany's" came out and was a smash hit. Anytime there's a song about a couple maybe staying together because they "both kinda like" a movie, you just know it's gonna top the charts. In any case, I remember hearing it while sitting in the backseat of one of my parent's cars. "Do you know who sings this?" I asked. They didn't. "I'll give you a hint," I continued, "It's Deep Blue...something." They spent the next couple of minutes guess everything from the obvious (ocean, sky, etc.) to the bizarre (month, squirrel, etc.). Finally they gave up. "It's actually Deep Blue Something," I proudly revealed, noting that my hint was a really good one. Meanwhile, a dozen years later, the same thing just worked on my co-worker Rob a week or two ago. Man I'm good with the band name trickery.

Around the same time, there were a bunch of weird band names that were making the rounds. They sound fairly normal to me now, but Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots, Green Day, and Toad the Wet Sprocket were all really bizarre at first. My favorite brother suggested that they may just be pointing in the dictionary blindly to pick a name, so we tried it. I'm not sure why both words were so close to the beginning of the dictionary, but we ended up with The Cozy Bob. Not too shabby, eh? They could open for Blind Melon and no one would bat an eye.

I heard a Ford commercial on the radio that said their new truck "is like a well-oiled machine." Maybe I'm nitpicking here, but why is "like" in there at all? Unless they don't come close to properly caring for their vehicles, it should be well-oiled (and it's certainly a machine). They're like stupid. I hate people sometimes.

I wrote the word "renown" recently (probably in some tongue-in-cheek egotistical statement about my greatness). Shortly thereafter, I realized that I don't know many nown things. I looked at the etymology of the word, and the root surprised me. I would've bet that it came from "know," but it's actually coming from Latin nominare or name. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, fellow armchair etymologists.

I know It's not a popular position to take, but I wanna go on the record and say I'm pro histamine. That camp's been losing the battle for a long time, and someone needs to stand up for the rights of histamines everywhere.

Whew, look at the time. We've already arrived at the Car Watch, boys and girls. On a scale of 1 to 10, how palpable is the excitement right now? Oh yeah? Well what if 1 is "very palpable," tough guy?

My Bratty Kid Sister wrote me saying that she spotted a license plate that read, "L8RISNW." I was going to try to figure it out, but I decided that putting it off was a better option.

My lovely wife saw a bumper sticker proudly proclaiming, "50% Greek." How do you think the driver's non-Greek parent feels? That's gotta sting just a little.

I also got a license plate report from my pops. "SURFSLT," it said. Does that mean that she gives it up to every wave she comes across? Was she upset that "SURF HO" was taken?

My favorite brother called me with a plate as well, meaning that my mom's the only slacker of my immediate family. "IMPCH W," it said. I normally stay away from overtly political stuff in this space, but I have to admire that person's commitment. In a few months, the plate won't make any sense, and the driver knew that it would only be topical for a finite amount of time. No matter, it was important to him or her, and I admire it.

Dusty wrote in after knowing that I would be pleasantly confused by this bumper sticker: "I'm only speeding because I have to poop." It also had a picture of a steaming turd pile, he said. Part of me wonders how often that's accurate, but most of me just wants to make a bad pun about gas.

My turn! I saw a bumper sticker that said, "Power Probe" on it. Here's the thing: the car wasn't a Probe. Therefore, I'm hoping it's just a weird band name and nothing more.

Lastly, I got a trifecta of Car Watch items from my homey Rockabye. There was a bumper sticker (not actually on a bumper, but "car sticker" sounds like it's on a lot or something) that read, "If you start out depressed, everything is kind of a pleasant surprise." Um, not if you stay depressed, right? That's some very faulty logic there, sir or madam. He saw a plate that stated, "IM 5FT3." I'm guessing she's tired of people asking how short she is, but that's still a bit extreme, don't you think? And then, there's this license plate frame: "My other toy has tits." You can't teach classy, folks.

Alrighty everyone, have a superfantastacular weekend. I'll see you back here on Monday, but feel free to write to ptklein@gmail.com in the meantime with anything at all that you feel like sharing.