FUF #35

Ah yes, we are here yet again. I have no fear though, for we can get through any work week together, gentle readers. We are young. Heartache to heartache we stand. No promises, no demands. FUF is a battlefield. (And we shall be victorious!) Yes, it's another Follow Up Friday, and I'm reading to start F'ing U, if you don't mind. As always, get ready for some rambles related to earlier posts, the random rambles that follow, and the ever-present and ever-pleasant Car Watch.

My Bratty Kid Sister commented on my post about bowling team names and individual names. I got the sense that she was upset that I'm not going by Moses in the league. I started to post this comment as a response: "I know, I know, BKS. You always called me Moses for parting the pins, leading the group, and being Jewish, but on a team helmed by a Klein, Stein, and Levine, I don't think my Jewishness stands out enough. Even so, who would the other three be? Should our team be The Old Testament? We can be Moses, Aaron, Isaac, and Abraham. I do bowl first on our team, so I could use lots of "Follow me" jokes. I could make bowling commandments too - Thou shalt not eat with thy bowling hand, etc. Ya know, you may be onto something. Why didn't I save this for a FUF?" That's where I stopped. "Thou shalt not miss the 5 pin" and "Thou shalt be ready to bowl when it is thy turn unless thou art purchasing alcohol" should definitely be in there. Got more of these, gentle readers? Come on, I know at least three of you bowl, so come out of the shadows.

When I posted something about the date on 10-10, it reminded me of something. Do you remember all of those 10-10-220 or 10-10-297 commercials for ways to get inexpensive long distance? Man, they went from having all sorts of competing commercials on at all hours of the day to disappearing completely almost overnight. Score one for the cell phone companies, eh?

In yesterday's post, I talked about frequenting (which is a great verb, by the way) the Coral Tree Cafe, or "the CTC" as I called it. I remembered another short story from that place that I found humorous and hope you will too. A young lady behind the counter excitedly greeted me there. "You were my Orientation advisor," she said. "Do you remember me?" I actually did recognize her, but I didn't remember her name. "Of course," I said, "How's everything been going?" We chatted for a little bit, and I casually checked out her nametag at some point in the conversation. It said "Jacqueline" on it, and that sounded vaguely familiar. The next time I came in, I said, "Hi Jackie," using the nickname as a way to prove that not only did I know her name, but that I was familiar enough with it that I'd moved on to that stage. I thought it was a pretty smooth move, actually. I saw her almost daily for a couple of months, and one time her name somehow came up. "Yeah, I just go by Jacqueline usually; you're the only one who calls me Jackie," she said. Crap. "Really?" I asked. "Yeah, 'cause my last name's Robinson, and 'Jackie Robinson' is already taken." She said it was ok for me to keep calling her that since I had been for so long, but I couldn't help chuckling inside about my master plan backfiring so perfectly.

In order to replenish something, must it first be plenished? I think the order has to be plenished, depleted, replenished, replete. That "ple" root is mighty active this morning.

There was a fly buzzing on a window in our office/dog's room on Monday. It was pissing me off as I was trying to concentrate on writing something for work. Naturally, I went over to the bookshelf, grabbed a book, and proceeded to swing and miss a few times. It went back to the window, and I was able to successfully smash it with the binding of the book against the window. Then I looked down at the book I arbitrarily selected to do my killing: "Way of the Peaceful Warrior." Oops, I kinda fucked that one up.

My homey Rockabye pointed out that you can't spell "three-parter" without Peter. I pointed out that it's an anagram of "Heart R Peter." He replied by saying that "Peter Fucker without Peter is just Fucker." That made me laugh, so I decided to share.

And now, the magical moment has drawn nigh and the forces of good have brought us together for the spectacle that is Car Watch. I hope you're ready, because there's no turning back now. Ooh, scary.

My oft-driving friend Rockabye saw a license plate that read "IMCOOL2." I think it's one of two things. Either this person had "IM COOL" before and this is the sequel or they're trying to tell us that they're not only beautiful and/or intelligent, but they're actually fun to hang out with also. If it's option number two, then I really don't like that person.

My mom wrote in after being a slacker last week. She saw a plate that read, "FXDNCOM." It took me a minute, because I kept getting tripped up by the "COM" at the end, but my mom's note helped: "Since it was on a late model Mercedes, I assume it is a pretty hefty one." Ah, there we go. Thanks, Mom.

Keeping with the spirit of parents, my dad wrote me to say he saw "MA BAYB" on a cute sports car. I like this one, mainly because it forces the reader to adopt an accent. The author Bill Bryson wrote in one of his books that "Scona rine" is a weather prediction in Australia. I really like that, and this reminded me of that. This is not that, but this was similar enough to that that I thought of that and decided to share this. Obviously.

Sticking with the Klein family theme, my favorite brother called me with a very interesting license plate frame report: "Keep honking, I'm reloading." Yikes, that's some serious shit there. I guarantee you I would let that person stay stopped at a green light for about thirty seconds before even considering the horn. Point taken, sir.

Sacky Christi wrote in with a plate and frame report of her own. The plate said "A007DDS," and the accompanying frame said, "007 DDS, License to Drill." Ok, we get the point, buddy: even though you're a dentist, we're still supposed to believe that you're cool. Maybe if you tell yourself that enough, you won't need to keep selling that idea so hard.

My turn! I saw a bumper sticker that I liked, and that's my only criterion for making into the FUF Car Watch. It said, "If only closed minds came with closed mouths." I appreciate that sentiment. Big ups, respect.

Dusty wanted in on the action. The plate he saw said "IB SHART." He wrote, "I'm guessing that they mean s-hart, as in sweetheart, but that's tragic." Tragic indeed, my friend.

Lastly, my favorite Car Watch item of the week comes from my Aunt Lynn. It was a bumper sticker, and it suggested - nay, told - whoever saw it to do the following: "Make Dildos Not War." Well said, my fellow American. At the very least, that sounds like a pretty cost-effective approach to dealing with foreign relations.

Ok, that's it, I'm tired. Have a weekend, and make it a great one. See you back here on Monday, and please remember to write to ptklein@gmail.com in the meantime with literally anything at all that crosses your mind. Shaloha, and see you again soon.