My office does a strange thing and kinda gives us the week between Christmas and New Years completely off. I say 'kinda' because we're still expected to be doing work during that time, and I imagine I'll be checking and writing emails quite a bit during my time off. That said, today is the Friday before that week plus off, and I'm not sure how much concentration I'll have. Even hard-nosed cop Joe Friday seems to have trouble deciding whether to get the facts on the phone or in person. The internet would've driven him crazy.
So we're talking a little about days today, and that reminded me of something I need to share with you in case you haven't seen it yet:
Watch that, enjoy, and have trouble getting it out of your head. I have new respect for Justin Timberlake after watching that, and it almost makes me want to start watching Saturday Night Live again. The thing is, I've seen quite a few funny SNL clips on You Tube over the past few months, but not enough to record the program and fast forward through all the awkward and shitty ones. Also, most of the funniest ones I've seen recently are their new "Digital Shorts" and not their live sketches. That strikes me as...ironic. Within the past decade, the funniest stuff I've seen on SNL has either been a cartoon (Ambiguously Gay Duo, Ex-Presidents) or a pre-recorded piece (Lazy Sunday, Natalie Portman's gangsta rap). Come to think of it, my favorite parts of SNL have always been the non-live parts. Sure, I really enjoyed Massive Head-Wound Harry, Wayne's World, and other sketches like that. But those don't even come close to the enjoyment I got from the commercials for Three-Legged Jeans, Schmidt's Gay, Bad Idea Jeans, the toilet for two, and the Canis cologne ones. I'm going on the record to say that this is in fact irony: the best parts of a show that prides itself on being live are the non-live ones. Watch and learn, Alanis, watch and learn.
Ok, back to today's topic: days of the week. I worked for a year for a company up in Sacramento. Nice people, those Sackys. Anyway, I always entered through a door that was right near a woman named Cherry's work station. Before you call me a liar, I swear to you that I'm not embellishing here. Cherry would say something to everyone who walked in as the self-appointed welcoming committee of one. Here is what she would say:
On Mondays: Good morning! And how are you doing on this Monday, again?
On Tuesdays: Good morning! And how are you doing on this Tuesday, now that we survived Monday?
On Wednesday: Good morning! And how are you doing on this (beat) Hump Day?
On Wednesday: Good morning! And how are you doing on this (beat) Hump Day?
On Thursday: Good morning! And how are you doing on this (pauses inquisitively) TGIT day? Hahaha!
On Fridays: Good morning! And how are you doing on this glorious TGIF day?
There were only slight modifications. If it were raining outside, it would be a "rainy Hump Day" or a "rainy Tuesday, now that we survived Monday." Every other Friday, she would ask about our "glorious TGIF day pay day." Lastly, since the company provided lunch for the workers on the second Friday of each month, that would be "this glorious TGIF day, pay day, and second Friday lunch day." Again, I shit you not. Can you imagine how hard it is to fake a genuine reaction after a few months of that? "Oh, TGIT! I see what you're doing there - that's clever!" I usually just smiled and said, "Fine Cherry, how are you?" without stopping to hear a response. It was best to keep moving.
I was so excited one day when I realized we had a three-day weekend coming up. What would she say on Tuesday? We didn't "survive Monday," so she couldn't use that, right? I kept thinking about it over that long weekend, and I jogged up to the door that Tuesday morning. And you know what? She was out sick. Do you believe that shit? The one day I actually want to hear her greeting and she's gone? I theorized that she couldn't stand the pressure of a Tuesday without a work Monday and had to stay home until the regular shtick could resume. She was a very sweet woman, so I almost hate to make fun of her. I at least stopped myself from telling her to call Thursdays "Sorry Honey It's Thursday days or SHIT days," and that was hard to do.
So, as I sit in my daze and try to get through this last official work day for a while, I know that Cherry is sitting at her desk welcoming people who are already fully aware of what day it is. Happy Holidays, everyone. I'm not sure how regular my posts will be over the next week or so, but I'll be here for sure after the New Year to talk about USC's loss to Michigan.
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