Fame-ish, Part 1

Good morning on this day of Thur. Today is my father's half-birthday, so everyone please wish him a "Hap Birt!" with me. A funny thing happened a week or two ago, and the time has come to share it with you all. What did you bring to share today? That's what I thought. Selfish bastards. Sharing is caring. Remember that.

I was in the car, which happens from time to time, and I turned on some local sports talk radio. It was the day after the Sopranos finale, and the two on-air personalities were discussing how all series finales seem to suck. They asked the listeners to call in if they knew of any good ones, and I picked up my cell phone and started dialing. It rang, and someone quickly picked up and said the station's name. "Hi, I have a good finale to talk about," I said. He asked me a couple of questions and then put me on hold with the show playing. Suddenly they said, "We have Peter on the line calling from a cell phone in traffic who says he has a good one for us. Hey, Peter." I talked with them for about ten seconds about how the finale of Six Feet Under was fantastic and after a small description, they agreed that it sounded very interesting. (I won't go into what made it so cool and possibly spoil something for those of you who might rent the whole series at some point. You can thank me later.)

As soon as I hung up, I turned the radio back on to see if I would hear myself due to the delay. Sure enough, I heard my voice for half a second. One full second later, my phone rang and it was my brother. "Did you hear me?" I asked, without saying a hello. "Yeah, I just heard you on the radio!" It turns out that he didn't hear them say my name but heard my voice and picked up his phone to call me. I was famous.

It got me thinking (uh oh): what's the most famous I've ever been? That's a tough one. I think the best way to decide is for me start listing my top famous times in what I believe to be an increasing order. At the end, maybe we'll all learn a little about each other...and ourselves. (Cue music)

6. UOPTA: a blog in which I share thoughts and stories with 8-10 people on the internets, many of whom are already related to me.

5. The Kevin and Bean Show: Another radio thing, but this one is definitely bigger. KROQ is very popular in these parts, and almost everyone in high school listened to that show in the morning. They were having a "celebrity spotting" segment, and I called in to say that I saw Donny Most of "Happy Days" at a theatre a couple of days prior. As I found out while on the air, the person before me had seen Anson Williams of "Happy Days." Kevin or Bean asked (probably rhetorically) which sighting was better. I answered. "Oh Ralph was way better," I said. "People laughed with Ralph; they just laughed at Potsie." They agreed with my logic and went to the next called, hoping it would be someone who saw Mr. Cunningham. When I got to school, I had a bunch of people telling me that they heard me on the radio and how cool that was. That's right: famous.

4. Solid Gold: I don't remember the circumstances surrounding this whatsoever, but I was on television in the mid 80s. My brother, my old friend Jason N. and I were all on Solid Gold together for about three seconds. Together, we lip synched (lip sunk?), "Schooooool's out for summer!" And that was it. Brief and forgettable, but television!

3. The 10 Spot: This was a daily list of ten items on the Sports Illustrated website (in the section that they stupidly renamed "Extra Mustard"). The items were all quick jokes about sports. There was a setup about something in the news and then a punchline - very opening monologue-ish. The first Friday of every month, it would be an all-reader edition. I wrote in a few times and actually made it in on the website three times. One of them was even better because he wrote on Monday that he "forgot to add what Peter in Los Angeles wrote" and published it then. That's fame you can't buy, gentle readers. I earned it, armed with nothing but my wit, sports knowledge, and a keyboard.

Well, I've covered my famous moments online, on the radio, and on television. How could I get any more famous than that? You'll have to tune in Monday to find out as I reveal the top two famous moments in Peter Klein history. Can you wait that long? Do you have another choice? I'm not skipping a FUF for you or anyone! Have a great day, folks, and remember to write in to ptklein@gmail.com with anything about anything.