FUF #16

It's Friday, and all I wanna do is have some FUF. I gotta feeling, I'm not the only...wuf. That FUF pun was brought to you by my lovely wife, who has scarily learned to think a little bit like me. Yes, 'tis Friday, my friends. I had written earlier this week that I often overvalued four-day work weeks because losing 20% wasn't that big a deal. Guess what? I was wrong about that this time. Friday seemed to come a little faster. I guess that means that next time there's a four-dayer, I'm going to expect it to be fast and then get right back into the whole overvaluing thing. Ah, the circle of life.

Speaking of which, it's frickin' June! How the hell did that happen? June's a big month for Los Kleins. Both Amber and I enter a new decade, my parents celebrate their 38th anniversary, my nephew turns 1 and 11/12ths, the offspring of the Sackies turns 4, and we have the half-birthdays of my dad, my brother, my mother-in-law, Jon, Twilight, Candice, Rockabye, and Jesus. Maybe December's a bigger month than June, now that I think about it.

Ready for some random stuff? Good.

One place we visited in Mexico had a bunch of animals. There were boars who ran a lot faster than we thought, monkeys who seemed to be as smart of some people we've met, and lots of birds. One of the birds was a toucan, which led me to a few "Toucan play at this game" comments. The other birds were bright and colorful parrots. I don't know why it surprised me in the slightest, but I was taken aback when one of the parrots suddenly said, "Hola hola!" It continued saying it every so often, and it continued being funny the whole time. One of the parrots even successfully copied a woman's laugh, which was cool but also a little creepy.

I spoke with my good friend Lisa a couple of days after we returned. "A horrible thing happened while you were gone," she said. "What's that?" I asked, pretty sure that it had nothing to do with something serious. "Our internet was down almost all week." We commiserated over how powerless a feeling that is, and how it's gotten to a point in which I'm almost 100% useless at work when my computer isn't working. The machines have us right where they want us.

Here's something that I thought of earlier that I wanted to share with you all. You know what's not fair? North and South always get top billing in combo directions. That's bullshit. Who decided that? Why can't we say that something is Eastnorth of here, or I'm on the Westsouthern corner? Well, guess who's gonna start doing that? Just remember, gentle readers, you heard it here first. But if the FBI's asking, you didn't hear it here.

My brother called me to tell me something yesterday. He heard a radio commercial for a company that had virus protection software. Their phone number? 1-800-KILLSPAMEMAIL. That's 13 frickin' numbers (and the same as KILLS PANTHERS or KILL SPANISH RICE)! Not as bad as 1-800-SAVETHECHILDREN, but closer than I expected anyone else to get.

About two weeks ago, I wrote about Dusty having battery acid in the back of his Jeep and the effect it had on my pants and Lisa's jeans. For some reason, I never made any comment in that post about "acid wash jeans," and I apologize for that.

Car Watch time!

Rockabye saw a license plate that had a heart symbol and then MY CELL. Sure enough, she was talking on her cell phone at the time. I'm all for love, but a cell phone seems an unnatural object of such affection.

One of my favorite plates of the year so far: On the 405 in fun-as-ever traffic, I spied OY VEY LA. I love it.

Shortly after that one, I came up behind a plate that read FROOGAL...on a Jaguar. I'm gonna leave that one alone and let it speak for itself.

Lastly, I saw a license plate frame that pissed me off: UC San Diego...The Smart Ones. Really? I'm not saying UCSB is on the same level as Harvard, but UCSD should know better than to create something like that. I don't know if they're comparing themselves to their sister campuses in the UC system, but if so, Berkeley might have a bone to pick with them. So might UCLA. And by golly, so might my beloved Gauchos. After all, 5 Nobel laureates since 98 ain't bad. Neither is being ranked the #2 public research university in the country, but I digress. "The Smart Ones." Why is that even plural? It doesn't say "UC San Diego Students" on the top? I'll stop now.

Deep breaths, Peter. Have a great weekend, everyone, and I hope your June gets off to a great start. Remember to write to ptklein@gmail.com with anything about anything so I can get some extra material for posts and future FUFs.