Christmas recap

At the Klein Christmas Gathering, we have a grab-bag game that we play every year. It's pretty standard, where you can steal from other people or pick a new one from the table, etc. Last Friday, I told my sister-in-law Ilyse as we were saying goodbye that I'd see her on Christmas, and that I'd be #1 in the grab-bag. This was a ridiculous prediction because not only were there going to be 27 other numbers I could pick from the hat, but also because I was #1 two years ago and I think a few years before that too. But that was what I told her, so I also told my mom and a couple others (with a great deal of certainty in my voice, no less).

Still, I was pretty shocked when I pulled out the 1. Ilyse was standing right there when it happened, and she kept trying to figure out how I cheated. Maybe my extreme confidence altered the fabric of history, thereby giving credence to the notion that the mind possesses even more powerful abilities than we realize and that "seers" are just people who have slightly more developed regions of their brains. Or maybe my mom didn't shuffle the pieces of paper enough.

Typically, there are a couple of gifts in the grab bag that are undeniably better than the others. These are the ones that get stolen almost every round and that have people wondering aloud how they fell into the $10-$15 price range. In past years, this has been either a scanner, a mini t.v., or some other pretty cool appliance that my mom used some crazy coupon/rebate combo on to get it into the price range. Other times, it's just something that catches people's fancies, like a cool votive candle holder or a soft blanket. This year, it was...nothing really. Here I was with #1 and no one was afraid to be holding what I would ultimately want. There was a pretty cool tool set, but we have tools already and I didn't want to steal from my Dad unless it was something really cool. In the end, I stole a cute little alarm clock thing that my uncle had previously stolen from my wife. She really liked it, and I felt a little like Jack Bauer as I protected my family. Just a little, don't worry.

So overall, it was cool that I got #1 but would've been cooler if there was an "it" item this year. (Please note that we brought two gifts, and neither were worthy of my #1 either.) It's like I won the NBA lottery a couple of years after Lebron, Carmelo, Wade, and Bosh came out only to find myself choosing between a European project and an American project.

This all got me thinking about numbers though, and I have a lot to say on the subject. I think I'll try to break it into several posts rather than one super-long one, so hang on to your hats and glasses, gentle readers. Happy Boxing Day to all, and to all a good...box, I guess.

Beating the odds

Another entry into the blogosphere. In the biggest upset since UCLA spoiling the Trojans shot at another national championship, I'm here with more musings. (By the way, that football game is tomorrow, so feel free to reflect upon my sports pre-cog ability as something "truly special.")

Here's what's on my mind right now: My friend Twilight is having a birthday party in a week. They're apparently making karaoke a component of the party and have asked people for requests of what they'd like to see on the song menu. I've done karaoke four times in my life. Three of them were pretty standard:

• I sang "Paperback Writer" by the Beatles with a friend at a bar mitzvah when I was 13


• "When Doves Cry" by Prince with my buddy Scott at a Sweet Sixteen when I was 16


• A loungy version of "Like a Virgin" with my brother when I was probably 20 for an audience of maybe 5 people

The fourth was not so standard, and since I had the most fun with it and got better reviews, it's skewed the way I've viewed karaoke ever since. My friend Jon and I (notice I never do this alone) sang "Burning Down the House" in gibberish. All made up words except for "burning down the house" and "fight fire with fire." It was great - the confused looks from people who couldn't understand what we were doing ("The words are right there on the screen!") were priceless. Sure, I sounded a bit like the Swedish Chef, but whose gibberish doesn't?

(Sidenote: Should I be capitalizing 'gibberish'? I know it's a made up language, but it's still a language. Does one write 'Pig Latin'? Probably, because 'latin' looks weird. I'm starting a movement on this. Plenty of good seats still available on the bandwagon.)

So here are my options: I can either skip the karaoke part all together - the leader in the clubhouse right now - and just watch others ham it up, find a good and funny song that I can "sing" normally without having to have any kind of singing voice, or find a song that I can do something special with like the BDtH example.

Option 2 is slightly difficult. I can maybe get my one of my friends to sing "If I Had $1,000,000" by Barenaked Ladies with me. I could sing "Punkrock Girl" by the Dead Milkmen quite easily. Or...nope, that's all I've got right now.

Option 3 is super difficult. I don't want to do BDtH again, even though I have some ideas on how to make it better (i.e. audience participation). I could do a stalker version of Richard Marx's "Right Here Waiting" to leave everyone with that creepy feeling. Nothing evokes that better that saying "I will be right here waiting for you" with a clenched jaw and wide eyes. That would get old a third of the way through it though.

That's where I am right now. Mentally. Physically, I'm at work and have to start doing actual work. Messed up priorities, I know. So, I'd ask for advice, but that would require people reading this...that's a tricky one. Well, they don't call me Balls-Out Natalie for nothing. Any advice?