Good morning, homepeople. How's everyone doing on this (insert adjective that correctly refers to the weather in your part of the world) Friday? Yes, it's rather (insert same adjective with the knowledge that it is either accurate or sarcastic) here in Los Angeles, too. We do what we can. As I type this, I have no idea what this post is going to be about, and that frightens me a little. But I shall face my fears, push on, and see what comes of this.
Actually, something just came of this. By writing, "face my fears," I recalled a brief story. Isn't it fantastic when that happens? (Answer: Yes!) I've written a little about our sweet and adorable dog Hallie in the past. I wrote about how she got her name, songs in which I frequently insert that name, and some silly things she does from time to time. I don't believe I've ever talked about how extremely timid she was when we first got her from the rescue organization.
During the first month or so of having our new family member, we learned more and more things that scared her on a daily basis. It made no sense, really. I'd be walking her, and the wind would move a leaf. I think that's fairly typical, but she'd cower and put her tail so far between her legs that it looked like she had a penis. A minute later, a car alarm could go off right next to us and she wouldn't bat an eye. "Really? You're ok with that though?" I'd ask her. She never answered.
The scariest thing in the world to her during that first little while was...ROLLING LUGGAGE! I was walking her, and a woman pulling a suitcase behind her turned the corner and was a few feet from us. Hallie leapt backwards in the air, curled into the smallest ball she could behind my legs, and started shaking. The luggage roller asked me why she was so afraid, and I said what ended up being a very common refrain for the first couple of years that we had her: "We got her from a shelter, so we don't really know."
I saw that she started to develop a bad habit. Namely, when walking through the parking lot sections of our large apartment complex, Hallie started to fear...PARKED CARS! Yes, I know, they're very scary. I would try taking us between two cars, and she'd stop dead in her tracks and pull backward or turn and try going a different direction. After I changed course a couple of times, I took a new tact. "Hallie, it's time to face your fears," I said to her. Trying my best to be the confident and assertive pack leader she needed, I pulled her through two cars parked close together. My thought was that if she saw that she could go through without whatever mortal peril she expected to happen, then it would be easier the next time. And you know what? I was actually right. The next time we got to parked cars, I said again, "Face your fears, Hallie dog." With minimal pulling, we walked through. The time after that was no problem at all. I made her face her fears and she came out the other end smiling. (She really does look like she's smiling at times. See?)
After being a part of our family for four years now, she hardly resembles the little scaredy-dog we brought back to that apartment in Sacramento. She's still more timid than the average dog, but she's come way out of her shell. Parked cars, rolling luggage, and even dreaded leaves don't have the same effect on her anymore. I'd like to think that transformation started right then when I had the heartfelt Father-Dogter pep talk. I'd also like to think that she'll magically start walking better on a leash without us really working on it, but I'll take what I can get.
Actually, something just came of this. By writing, "face my fears," I recalled a brief story. Isn't it fantastic when that happens? (Answer: Yes!) I've written a little about our sweet and adorable dog Hallie in the past. I wrote about how she got her name, songs in which I frequently insert that name, and some silly things she does from time to time. I don't believe I've ever talked about how extremely timid she was when we first got her from the rescue organization.
During the first month or so of having our new family member, we learned more and more things that scared her on a daily basis. It made no sense, really. I'd be walking her, and the wind would move a leaf. I think that's fairly typical, but she'd cower and put her tail so far between her legs that it looked like she had a penis. A minute later, a car alarm could go off right next to us and she wouldn't bat an eye. "Really? You're ok with that though?" I'd ask her. She never answered.
The scariest thing in the world to her during that first little while was...ROLLING LUGGAGE! I was walking her, and a woman pulling a suitcase behind her turned the corner and was a few feet from us. Hallie leapt backwards in the air, curled into the smallest ball she could behind my legs, and started shaking. The luggage roller asked me why she was so afraid, and I said what ended up being a very common refrain for the first couple of years that we had her: "We got her from a shelter, so we don't really know."
I saw that she started to develop a bad habit. Namely, when walking through the parking lot sections of our large apartment complex, Hallie started to fear...PARKED CARS! Yes, I know, they're very scary. I would try taking us between two cars, and she'd stop dead in her tracks and pull backward or turn and try going a different direction. After I changed course a couple of times, I took a new tact. "Hallie, it's time to face your fears," I said to her. Trying my best to be the confident and assertive pack leader she needed, I pulled her through two cars parked close together. My thought was that if she saw that she could go through without whatever mortal peril she expected to happen, then it would be easier the next time. And you know what? I was actually right. The next time we got to parked cars, I said again, "Face your fears, Hallie dog." With minimal pulling, we walked through. The time after that was no problem at all. I made her face her fears and she came out the other end smiling. (She really does look like she's smiling at times. See?)
After being a part of our family for four years now, she hardly resembles the little scaredy-dog we brought back to that apartment in Sacramento. She's still more timid than the average dog, but she's come way out of her shell. Parked cars, rolling luggage, and even dreaded leaves don't have the same effect on her anymore. I'd like to think that transformation started right then when I had the heartfelt Father-Dogter pep talk. I'd also like to think that she'll magically start walking better on a leash without us really working on it, but I'll take what I can get.
That story got me thinking (uh oh) about whether I practice what I preached (proach?) to my pup. Do I push myself enough in uncomfortable moments? Do I have fears that I can actively try to minimize? I actually think the answer is yes, albeit on a couple of small scales that come to mind. If there's an ugly bug in the house, I would love to be able to cast a spell from two rooms away to make it disappear. Instead, since I'm the designated bug-killer of the house, I've forced myself to persevere in those situations. Oh sure, there may be some girlish screaming involved and, if it was unfortunately messy for any reason, slight waves of nausea, but I get the job done. And I suppose it has gotten easier of the years. Maybe this "face your fears" stuff really works.
The other example that readily came to mind involves talking to strangers. Oh sure, it's easy on a computer monitor, but I'm talking about a different forum: the phone. There are times at work that I have to call someone with whom I'm not yet acquainted. Often that call is to ask for something (set up a meeting, pitch him/her on a service that might not be needed, complain about how a matter was handled, etc.), so I don't think that they'll excitedly say, "Oh hi; great to hear from you!" after I introduce myself. Therefore, I find it a little difficult to pick up the phone and start that process. I don't know if it's actually fear that makes me hesitate and not want to do it, but it's definitely in the fear family. (Coming soon to Fox - Fear Family! What happens when a normal suburban family is haunted by ghosts as they attempt to eat pig rectums and walk a plank over genetically-modified barracudas? Find out Fridays at 10/9 Central!) So what do I do? I make myself start. It's very similar to how I would talk to girls in junior high school. I told myself that if I began the sentence, it would be too late to turn back and I'd be forced to run with it. That's what I do now on the occasional call of this type. Knowing full well that I don't want to, I pick up the phone and start dialing as quickly as possible. Once it rings, it's out of my hands and I just have to power through the call and make it happen. And everything ends up being just fine. That makes the next time and the one after that a little bit easier, and I'm pleased to know that I'm headed in the right direction. Peter Klein: Fear Facer.
Bees and wasps though? Nah, fuck that, I'm not facing that fear. I’m 31 years old, and I still freeze like a broken computer anytime a bee is buzzing around me.
Ok everyone, let's move our sharp and lethal stinger-asses on over to the Car Watch.
First off, my lovely wife and I went wine tasting over this past weekend. In the parking lot of one of the wineries, she saw this license plate frame: "Wine drinkers make grape lovers." Nicely done. Speaking of that trip, we went to one place called Wiens that we really liked. While sitting there, I pointed out that "Wiens" is an anagram of "sinew." "Or 'wines,'" my lovely wife added, which was way more appropriate. "What's wrong with me?" I asked. She didn't answer, so I took that to mean, "Nothing, honey, nothing is wrong with you."
First off, my lovely wife and I went wine tasting over this past weekend. In the parking lot of one of the wineries, she saw this license plate frame: "Wine drinkers make grape lovers." Nicely done. Speaking of that trip, we went to one place called Wiens that we really liked. While sitting there, I pointed out that "Wiens" is an anagram of "sinew." "Or 'wines,'" my lovely wife added, which was way more appropriate. "What's wrong with me?" I asked. She didn't answer, so I took that to mean, "Nothing, honey, nothing is wrong with you."
Next up, my homey Rockabye sent me this Car Watch item that made me laugh: "Bring back professional football in Detroit." You see, they do have a pro team, but since their hometown Lions went 0-16 last year (a record in futility), the car's owner doesn't think that they should count as "professional." I like sarcasm, so I liked this. It's a simple equation really.
And lastly, my friend Dusty sent me a funny bumper sticker: "If size doesn't matter, how come I'm so popular?" I've wondered the same thing for years, my friend.
Ok, that's it for today. But have no fear (tee hee), I'll be back next Friday with more stuff and...stuff. In the meantime, here are some happies: Today is my favorite niece's 5/6 birthday, so wish her well as she nears becoming a whole number. Happy 91st birthday tomorrow to my lovely wife's grandfather, which is quite impressive. Happy half-birthday to longtime and loyal reader Sue on Wednesday, and happy full birthday to my co-worker Rob on Thursday. As always, you can reach me at ptklein@gmail.com. Take care, everyone, and shaloha.
3 comments:
Wiens is also an anagram of swine. Maybe it is a secret code indicating some bad stuff in their product. And I'll never forget you screaming and flailing at a moth that was flying around your bedroom. A moth?!
You know what's worse than being the designated bug killer? the designated bug transporter. I'm not allowed to kill anything but flys.
I have to say that your description of Hallie was extremely accurate!! She has come a long way. However, the picture of her smiling doesn't do her smile justice. When Hallie is really happy and smiles, she shows her teeth - she looks as if she is ready to growl!! She is quite the funny dog........and, she can do tricks! She did a backwards sommersault for me one afternoon!! Even my own doggies can't do that! As you can tell, I am a proud Grandmother of your little girl!!
YourLovingM-I-L
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